


Come With Me (Is It Lonesome on the Sea)

by whisperedstory



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Baker Jared, Coming Out, Don't copy to another site, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, boat builder jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 13:23:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22883062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperedstory/pseuds/whisperedstory
Summary: He knows the uneasiness he feels at the thought of Jared being with someone right now isn't just protectiveness. It's jealousy, dark and bitter.It's a new thing, except the more he thinks about it the more he wonders if it hadn't always been there.--Jensen and Jared have grown up together in a small seaside town. It takes Jensen entirely too long to realize he's in love with Jared.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 94
Kudos: 268





	Come With Me (Is It Lonesome on the Sea)

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by [dancing_adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift). Title taken from Kris Kristofferson's "Seadream".
> 
> Banner made by [dancing_adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift). There's more gorgeous art [here](https://dancing-adrift.dreamwidth.org/18810.html). Please go and leave Amanda some love!

"Coffee?" 

Jensen looks up, first at the steaming mug of coffee, and then further up at the bright smile on Jared's face. He's wearing the customary dark blue apron, tied tightly around his slim waist, and his hair is in a messy bun. He looks so damn cheerful, Jensen would scowl at him if he was anyone else. But it's Jared and, well, it's hard for Jensen to stay in a bad mood around him. On the contrary—Jensen feels his mood lift a little.

"Sorry," he says and sits up straighter in the patio chair that creaks as he shifts. "I was going to come in and order in a second. I just wanted to wait until the line got a little shorter."

Jared puts the mug down and Jensen smells the rich, nutty scent of his favorite roast. "It's summer, Jensen. The line isn't going to be shorter until the season is over and the tourists leave." 

"Now, now, Jared. They're your bread and butter," Jensen reminds him with a wry smile.

Jared's smile gets wider and less sincere. "And I love every single one of them," he lies smoothly. He drops down onto one of the chairs across the small table from Jensen. "So, what's got you looking especially grumpy today?"

"I got up in the middle of the night to go out fishing with my dad," Jensen says and thinking about it reminds him how damn tired he is. He used to go out onto the water with his dad a lot more, and while he's never liked having to get up at the crack of dawn for it, it's become even more unbearable now that he's older and keeps an entirely different schedule. Jensen is used to manual labor, but not at the crack of dawn, and right now he's running on very few hours of sleep.

"Both of his men were down with the summer flu. Which, I'm guessing, is code for they were hungover as fuck. Lucky them," he snarks. 

Jared snickers. "And poor you," he says. "Drink up then."

"I will. Thanks, Jay," Jensen says and picks up the mug, taking a sip. It's strong and hot enough to almost burn his tongue and he takes another, bigger gulp. It's far from the first mug of coffee he had today, but it's definitely the best. "This is great."

"Yeah, I know. I'm a coffee god," Jared jokes, but Jensen notices he looks pleased, as if this isn't the millionth time Jensen has complimented his coffee. Jensen uses the same roast at home—after begging and pleading with Jared to tell him where he buys his coffee—and it still never tastes the same.

"I thought you were the god of cupcakes and cakes?" he quips. 

"I can be the god of several things. That's how awesome I am," Jared says. 

Jared might be joking, but Jensen secretly thinks it's actually true. He not only makes the best coffee Jensen has ever had, hands down, but his baking has earned the coffee shop a stellar reputation far beyond their little town, Harper's Cove. Jensen is known to drive into town just to have a coffee and grab a snack at Jay's Café. 

"Yeah, yeah," Jensen grumbles, not wanting to stroke Jared's ego. "Sadly, I think even your excellent coffee isn't enough to keep me awake for much longer. I'm gonna go home and take a long, long nap."

Jared hums. "Are you going to come to the bonfire tonight?" he asks.

"The bonfire?" Jensen snorts. "It'll be a bunch of tourists and teenagers. Are _you_ going?"

"I was thinking about it," Jared admits and shrugs. 

"Why? Dude, if I'm leaving the house again today—and that's a big if—I'm just gonna go to Kane's and have a drink or two."

"It's the same damn people at that bar every night," Jared says with a wry smile. "And you all are great, but, you know, _straight_. My chances of getting laid are much better at a touristy beach party."

Jensen huffs out a laugh that's not quite humorous, the thought of Jared with some stranger making something dark and bitter coil deep in his stomach. He hopes Jared will write it off as tiredness. "Well, have fun, I guess," he says and finishes the rest of the coffee. "What do you I owe you?"

Jared takes the mug when Jensen nudges it across the table. "Nothing. On the house," he says.

"Thanks, Jared," he says and then yawns, before he stretches and gets up. He claps Jared on the shoulder, his hands lingering for a second or two too long. 

*

Kane's is pretty crowded, considering it's a Wednesday night. It's one of the places that's more popular among the locals and doesn't get as many tourists coming in, though there are always a few who find their way there.

Jensen nods and greets familiar faces, but declines any offers to join any of the groups at the tables. Everyone already seems to be a few drinks ahead of him. Jensen ended up napping for a lot longer than he had intended and by the time he got up and scarfed down a couple of sandwiches, it was pretty late. He considered not going into town at all, but the lure of a cold beer had won out.

Jensen sits at the bar, and he doesn't have to wait long before Chris puts a beer down in front of him. 

"Try this," Chris says. "It's a lager from a small brewery a little further inland that I came across. Let me know what you think."

Jensen takes a sip, humming at the light, slightly sweeter taste. "Not what I would usually go for, but not bad," he finally decides. 

Chris looks thoughtful, then nods. "I think it might do well," he says. "Definitely a little different."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees and takes another sip before nodding at the small stage at the end of the bar. "You playing tonight?"

Chris shrugs and leans his elbows onto the counter. "Probably not. I was thinking about jamming a little on Friday," he says. "You should come. Maybe join me for a song or two."

"Nah, man," Jensen says, making a face. "I think I'd rather leave that to the professionals." 

Chris makes a dismissive noise, but doesn't try to push Jensen on the issue. "Talking about professionals. I heard you joined your daddy on the trawler this morning."

"He needed some help," Jensen says and nods. "I swear, man, that new kid he hired a few months ago is such a slouch. Keeps calling in sick, but my dad keeps giving him chances. He needs to start looking for someone else."

"I'll keep my ears open," Chris offers and sighs, knocking his knuckles against the counter. "I gotta go help Lauren out with some orders. She's getting swamped."

Jensen nods and waves Chris off. He takes another sip of his beer and then cranes his head around when there's a loud commotion at the entrance. It's Chad—of course it is—talking loudly and gesturing wildly with his arms as he spills into the bar with Gen and Katie, all of them laughing. Jared isn't with them.

He probably did go to the bonfire then and, since he's not with Chad and their friends now, maybe he did end up getting lucky. The thought doesn't sit well with Jensen and he sighs to himself, turning back towards the bar.

He knows the uneasiness he feels at the thought of Jared being with someone right now isn't just protectiveness. It's jealousy, dark and bitter.

It's a new thing, except the more he thinks about it the more he wonders if it hadn't always been there.

Jensen has looked at other guys, has had a stray curious thought here and there, but he never really questioned his sexuality. He likes women, has always enjoyed being with them. But Jared—he's always had a weak spot for Jared and somewhere along the line Jared grew up and Jensen's fondness for him turned into something else without him realizing it. 

He isn't quite ready to think about what that makes him, to label himself, but he can't deny the feelings for Jared that have been stirring inside of him for a few months now. It doesn't even really surprise him, not really. If there's ever been a guy who can make a man question his sexual preferences, it's Jared—and yeah, Jensen is totally biased. But Jared is something else. He's beautiful, all tall and lean, shoulders wide but waist and hips narrow. Sweet dimples and an even sweeter smile and eyes that, even after knowing Jared for most of his life, Jensen still can't pinpoint the color of, but are seared deep into his mind. Jared is a looker, that's for sure, and Jensen is finally starting to _really _see him. 

"You okay?" The words, coupled with a new beer being put down on the counter in front of him, break Jensen out of his thoughts.

"Huh?" he asks, blinking up at Chris.

Chris gives him a little grin. "You looked pretty deep in thoughts there, buddy," he says. "Everything okay?"

For a second, Jensen considers telling Chris. He's his oldest and closest friend and he knows Chris wouldn't care. Hell, given Jensen's track record with dating women—one disastrous relationship after the other—he might even encourage Jensen to go after Jared. But Jensen's never been very good at talking about his feelings, letting others in and accepting their help, and he thinks he needs to figure this out by himself. Needs to talk to Jared, eventually, too, if he ever wants to have a shot at being with him.

"I'm good," Jensen says, only a little strained. "I think I'm just tired. Been a long day."

Chris reaches across the bar and claps Jensen on the shoulder with a small grin. "You're getting old, dude."

Jensen wants to make a witty remark, but then he yawns and Chris cackles.

Truth is, Jensen feels like he really is getting old. Thirty-two isn't ancient by any means, but he's no longer the twenty-something kid who got satisfaction out of going out every weekend, chasing after women and drinking nights away with his buddies. 

Five years ago, Jensen bought a patch of land half an hour outside of town right by the sea, built his workshop there where he custom-builds boats, with its own dock and a big log cabin-style house next to it. His own business and his own home. But he wants someone to _come home to_, to share the life he's carved out for himself. And the only person he can picture at his side lately has been a 6'5 wall of muscles and sweetness.

*

"Hi, Jensen. What can I do for you today?" Kathryn leans forward, looking at Jensen from under her lashes and smiling at him. 

Jensen, who has been busy staring at the door leading to the kitchen of Jay's Café while waiting in line for the past five minutes, hoping maybe Jared would pop out, returns her smile politely. "Can I get a large Americano? To stay."

"Are you sure I can't get you anything else?" Kathryn prods. "Maybe something to eat? A guy like you needs to keep his strength up, I'm sure."

She glances at his arms and shoulders not so subtly. 

She's only nineteen, but sometime in the last few months she's started to blatantly flirt with Jensen whenever he comes in. It'd be flattering if it wasn't so annoying. Jensen has never really been sure how to handle unwanted attention, but much less so from someone over ten years younger than him. He doesn't want to hurt her feelings, but he really doesn't want to encourage her either.

His smile gets a little strained. "Just the coffee," he says and pulls out some bills.

Kathryn takes them, brushing her fingers against Jensen's for a moment longer than necessary. "You know, you should take me out on one of your boats some day. That'd be fun, right?"

Behind Kathryn, Katie groans loudly. "Your coffee will be ready in a second, Jensen," she calls out over her shoulder, and Jensen sends her a grateful smile before looking back at Kathryn.

"I'm really busy. I'm sure you'll find someone else to take you out on the water," he says. "Maybe Brock. You guys are friends, right? He loves sailing."

Kathryn frowns. "I can wait until you're not busy."

"I really prefer being alone out on the water," Jensen replies and nods at the money in Kathryn's hand. "Keep the change."

He gives her another smile and moves down to the end of the counter, making room for the person behind him. He doesn't have to wait long before Katie puts his mug down. 

"Here you go, Jen," she says. She leans forward and adds in a lower voice, "Sorry about her. She's decided guys her age are too young for her. Jared tried to talk to her about flirting with customers but, well, you know Jared."

"He's way too nice," Jensen says with a knowing nod and a small smile. 

"Exactly," Katie says, rolling her eyes. "I've been trying to keep Kathryn in line during work, but it seems you're her number one choice and she just can't help herself around you. If it gets too much, let us know, okay?"

"I can handle her," Jensen says with a small laugh as he picks up his coffee. "Thanks for the coffee."

Katie gives him a little nod. "Okay, duty calls. See you around."

"See you," Jensen replies. 

He finds an empty table in the back of the café, tucked away in a corner, and sits down, stretching his legs out. Taking the first sip of his coffee, he feels himself relax.

It's late afternoon and after wrapping up work, Jensen came into town to run some errands. This is his first real break he's had since getting up this morning. When Jensen first started his business building custom boats a few years ago, it was slow going. He was getting just enough commissions to get by without dipping too much into his savings. Now, a few years later, people all over the country come to him and even with two employees they can't keep up with the demand and Jensen is earning enough to live comfortably. People pay him well for his boats and Jensen can finally afford to be picky with his clients, to take breaks here and there and not have to worry about making a living. But he still gets caught up in his work sometimes, and sitting here he reminds himself that he needs to do this more often. 

Maybe he'll come by again tomorrow and bring a book, sit outside and enjoy the breeze on his face while reading. Maybe drag Jared out of the kitchen and make him join him for a little while.

The thought alone makes Jensen smile and he silently chastises himself for acting like a teenager with his first crush, but he can't help wanting to be around Jared. It's been that way since long before he realized he liked Jared. 

"You look happy today."

Jensen startles a little, whipping his head to the side to find Jared standing there, grinning at him. He's holding a steaming mug in one hand and a plate with two cupcakes in the other.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," Jared says. He puts the mug and plate down on Jensen's table. "Katie told me you were here and I was going to take a break soon anyway, so I figured I might as well join you."

Jensen nods and looks at the plate with cupcakes as Jared sits down across from him. "What are those?"

"My newest creation. They've been selling pretty well so far," Jared says and nudges the plate towards Jensen's side of the table. "Earl Grey cupcakes with an orange infused buttercream frosting."

Jensen picks up the cupcake closer to him. "Guess I'm going on a run later," he jokes.

Jared scoffs. "As if you need to," he points out, and the words make Jensen want to preen like an idiot.

Instead he takes a bite, humming at the taste. "This is great," he mumbles before swallowing. 

"Yeah?" Jared asks with a pleased little smile.

"I know I always say this when you try something new, but yeah," Jensen says, nodding before taking another bite.

Jared picks up the second cupcake and bites into it. "So," he says with his mouth full. "I hear you don't want to take Kathryn out onto the water? Way to break her heart, Jen."

He says it with a little smirk, and Jensen nearly chokes on his bite. He pats his chest as he swallows and then washes it down with a gulp of coffee. "Asshole. She's barely legal," he mutters. "I'm not a cradle robber." 

Jared laughs. "Awww, would you take me out then? I'm old enough for you," he says, batting his eyelashes.

Jensen's stomach does a little flip. "Sure. Just name the time." 

He tries to sound casual. It's not like Jared is being serious, really asking him out; he's just teasing. And if he were asking him out, Jensen is pretty sure his answer would be the same.

The thought of going out on an actual date with Jared, taking one of his boats out onto the water with him, sends a little thrill through him, and god, he wants that. Jensen wasn't lying when he told Kathryn he prefers being alone out on the water, but the thought of sharing that with Jared feels right. 

For a second, Jensen thinks Jared looks surprised by his answer, but then he grins easily. "I'll keep that in mind," he says, while breaking off a piece of his cupcake.

Mouth suddenly dry, Jensen nods. Jared might not be aware of it, but Jensen is taking baby steps in the right direction—the one that leads to him and Jared going out for real—so he decides to suck it up and take another.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" he asks before he can talk himself out of it. "Chris said he's going to be on stage for a bit at the bar."

"Oh. Sounds cool," Jared replies. "Been a while since I've seen him play."

"Yeah? You wanna go?" Jensen asks. "If you don't have other plans yet."

"What other plans?" Jared gives him a look and snorts. "There aren't many exciting things going on around here. I mean, there's bingo night but I don't think I'm quite that desperate yet."

Jensen shrugs and puts his half-eaten cupcake down. "I figured maybe you met someone last night," he admits and tries not to let his jealousy show. "I went to Kane's for a couple of drinks and I saw Chad and Gen there. Since you weren't with them I thought maybe the bonfire was a success."

"Oh," Jared mutters and frowns. "There was someone. But it didn't turn out to be what I was hoping for."

Jensen raises his eyebrows, silently telling Jared to elaborate.

Jared groans. "There was this guy who's renting one of the beach houses for the summer. He was nice and he seemed interested. So I went home with him and we were, you know, making out and stuff," he retells and wrinkles his nose. "And then he mentions having a freaking wife and a kid back home in Seattle."

"God, what a dick," Jensen says.

"I know, right? Needless to say, I hightailed out of there," Jared says and shrugs. "But lucky for you that means I'm definitely free tomorrow night."

Jensen gives Jared a small grin. "Wanna meet up at Kane's? Around nine?"

Jared nods and then glances at his wrist with a sigh. "I should get back to work," he says. "You want another coffee?"

Jensen shakes his head and nods at the remains of his cupcake. "Thanks for the treat."

"Anytime," Jared says. He gets up and picks up his mug. "You can buy me a beer tomorrow and we're even."

"Got it," Jensen agrees, and silently decides he's not going to let Jared pay for any of his drinks. It might not be a real date, but Jensen still feels like he's taking a first step, putting his feelers out.

*

"This is great," Jared says, taking another sip of the beer Jensen got him. It's the new lager he tried the other day and he smiles.

"Figured you would like it," he says, leaning in to be heard over the music, and stretches his arm out, letting his hand rest on the back of Jared's chair. They're sitting pretty much side by side at a small round table at Kane's, so they can both see the stage where Chris is currently on his third song.

"He sounds awesome, huh?" he asks.

Jared looks at him and nods, a wide smile splitting his face. It sometimes blows Jensen away just how attractive Jared is, now that he lets himself really look, really appreciate it. His hair is partly pulled back in a bun tonight, the rest of it curling around his nape and ears, and it's hot enough in the bar that he's a little sweaty, his collarbone glistening, his cheeks flushed. It makes a flash of heat settle in Jensen's stomach.

"You're looking at me weird, Ackles," Jared says, wrinkling his nose but his smile doesn't dim, dimples still carved deep into his cheek. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No, you're good," Jensen replies, glad it's dark in the bar because he can feel his cheeks growing hot at being called out. He flicks Jared's ear, just to divert his attention, and Jared laughs and ducks away, batting at his hand.

"Stop it, asshole," he says, before leaning back in again. "Are you going to join Chris?"

"Nah," Jensen answers, shaking his head. "I wouldn't leave you here all by your lonesome."

Jared snorts. "I know pretty much everyone here, save for the tourists," he says. "I'm pretty sure I'd be fine."

Jensen shakes his head. "I don't feel like going on stage tonight," he says, and it's not a lie. He told Chris already that he wouldn't join him. But he also wants to stay here with Jared, wants to spend the evening with him. 

"You sure?"

Jensen quirks an eyebrow at Jared and lifts his hand to the back of Jared's neck, hooking too fingers under the collar of his shirt and giving it a playful tug. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Yeah, I hate hanging out with you," Jared mocks.

"Oh? Is that why you were always trailing after me and Chris when we were teenagers, begging us to include you?"

"I did_ not_," Jared argues, and he looks sheepish.

Jensen grins and leans in. "Hey, I always liked having you around," he assures him, curling his arm around Jared's shoulder and giving him a soft squeeze. "You were a sweet kid. And you looked damn cute when you used your puppy eyes on us."

Jared huffs and elbows him. "Ass," he says and pouts a little.

Jensen hums and sits back, grinning. He turns his attention back to the stage before he does anything stupid like attempt to kiss that pout off Jared's lips.

He's got it pretty damn bad. And he's going to have to figure out what he's going to do about it, because not doing anything clearly isn't working for him. He's pretty sure he might have a chance with Jared—the whole town used to tease him about having a crush on Jensen when he was a teenager, and he'd blush and duck his head, but didn't deny it. Jensen, back then, thought it was cute. Now it makes him feel hopeful, pretty sure Jared still feels _something _for him. Jensen just needs to figure out how to let Jared know that, if Jared wants him, Jensen is more than open to the idea.

*

Jensen is cleaning up the shed next to his house where he keeps most of his fishing and boating gear when he hears the sound of a car pulling up in his driveway. 

Jensen's cabin is located a good thirty minutes outside of Harper's Cove, with his workshop right next door, and the only people who drop by are usually friends or family. It's Sunday and he had no plans with anyone today, intending to do some chores and maybe go fishing for a bit later on if there was enough time.

He drops the rope he was just trying to untangle and goes outside. Jared's beat-up VW Polo is parked behind his truck and Jared is just getting out, unfolding his too-long legs from the small space.

"Hey," Jensen calls out and smiles. "What are you doing here?"

"Is this a bad time?" Jared replies, and there's something in the tone of his voice, a tension that is mirrored in his posture, that gives Jensen pause. 

He closes the small distance between them with a frown. "Everything okay?"

Jared sighs and runs a hand over his face, shrugging. "Remember how you said you'd take me out onto the water if I wanted to the other week?" he asks and gives Jensen a sheepish look. "Would now be a bad time?"

"Absolutely not," Jensen assures him. "What's going on? Did something happen?"

Jared's shoulders drop a little. "Nothing much. I had a late lunch at my parents' and my grandma is in town for the day," he says, chewing on the corner of his bottom lip. "She brought her friend's granddaughter. It just… it doesn't seem to matter how many times I tell her I'm gay, she keeps trying to shove girls at me. Like I just need to meet the right one and I'll suddenly be straight."

"Oh Jared," Jensen murmurs and cups Jared's elbow for a second, squeezing it comfortingly. 

"You'd think I'd stop letting it get to me, but it sucks," Jared adds with a small shrug. "I kinda just left and told everyone I had plans. And I know my grandma is going to complain about me being rude to my parents—especially when she brought company."

"Hey, I think she's the one being rude," Jensen replies with a shrug. "Come on, let's take one of the boats and distract you."

"Promise it's really not bad timing?" Jared prods. "I just wanted to get away, clear my head a little, and I came here without thinking."

The thought warms Jensen, that he's who Jared came to when he needed comfort. He wants to be that for Jared. Wants to be whatever Jared needs.

"You're giving me a good reason not to have to clean out my shed, so you'd actually be doing me a favor," Jensen replies, giving Jared a smile. 

*

Jared might not have spent as much time as Jensen on the water, not coming from a family of fishermen like he did, but he knows his way around boats and is pretty good at sailing. Jensen decides they should take his smaller cuddy boat out anyway, so neither of them has to put in a lot of work.

He prepares a cooler with some drinks and snacks and they set out. He lets Jared steer for a while, standing at his side and helping him with small nudges. His hair is blowing in the wind, looking wild and messy, but he's grinning, the tension draining from him before long.

"This is exactly what I needed," he admits a little while later after Jensen has set anchor, both of them lounging in the sun and sipping sodas. 

"I'm glad I could help," Jensen replies.

Jared gives him a small, fond smile and nudges Jensen's ankle with his. "You always do," he says and then heaves a sigh. "I know I'm luckier than a lot of other people. The majority of people in my life have been so accepting. But sometimes it still really sucks when someone isn't."

Jensen hates seeing Jared like this. He looks upset, his expression open and vulnerable, and Jensen wishes he knew the right words to comfort him. He places a hand on Jared's back and rubs it lightly.

"It's not just about my grandma, you know," Jared continues. "I just feel lonely sometimes. Like I'll never get to have what everyone else has. I can't help but wonder sometimes if I'd have better luck if I lived in a city. Somewhere where I can meet other guys and date and find someone, you know?"

The thought makes Jensen's throat close up. "Jared," he says, feeling helpless in his inability to express his feelings. "You're thinking about leaving?"

Jared sighs. "No, not really, not seriously. It didn't work out when I tried, right?" he jokes and gives him a small, dry laugh. "God, that was a mess." 

Jared left for college after graduating high school, but he only made it a year before he dropped out and came back home, started working at what was still his aunt's café back then. Jensen remembers phone calls where Jared cried because he was so homesick, yet scared to give up on college so easily and disappoint his parents. So he tried, for an entire year. And then it was Jensen who drove out to Portland, helped him pack and brought him back home.

"We'd miss you here," Jensen says softly, and Jared smiles.

"Yeah. Who'd feed you cupcakes and coffee if I left, huh?"

Jensen settles his hand on Jared's bare arm, the skin heated from the sun. "It's not the cupcakes and coffee I'd miss, Jay." 

Jared's smile turns softer, and he ducks his head, hair falling into his face. "I just don't wanna be alone for the rest of my life."

"You're not going to be," Jensen promises. Not if he has any say about it.

*

Jared hugs him when they get back on land, and Jensen holds on to him tightly. He strokes Jared's back with one hand, buries the other in strands of silky, soft hair. Jared shudders, but then he goes pliant against Jensen, clings to him like he's the only thing holding him up.

Jared smells like the salty sea breeze, and an aftershave that's light and clean, soft like Jared himself.

"Okay?" Jensen murmurs, after a few long moments have passed and Jared's hold on him finally loosens. Jared nods and then, slowly, takes a step back.

"Thank you," he says, ducking his head and rubbing a hand over his eyes. "You're always there for me, Jensen. You have no idea how much that means to me."

"Hey. Feeling's mutual," Jensen reminds him softly. He can't help but reach out, tuck a strand of hair behind Jared's ear before cupping his cheek. "You don't have to thank me."

Jared gives a small, wobbly smile. "Remember when I came out to you?"

"Of course," Jensen says.

Jared rolls his lower lip between his teeth, sharp white digging into pink flesh, and Jensen is transfixed. He wonders how, for years, he managed to look at Jared and not really see him, not want him. 

He thinks about what Jared had said earlier, about not wanting to be alone, and he decides then and there that Jared has already been alone for too long and Jensen is done being a coward.

"You were the first person I told," Jared says softly, and Jensen nods.

"I remember," he says. He starts to let his hand drop from Jared's cheek, but Jared catches it, holds it against his skin.

"'S because I trusted you more than anyone else. Because I knew that if anyone would be in my corner, it'd be you. That you'd support me through this, take care of me if necessary," he says. "You were always there for me. Even when I was a dumb, annoying kid following you around, you paid attention to me."

Jensen smiles. "You're impossible to ignore, Jay," he says and finally pulls his hand free. "Come inside for a coffee, okay? I wanna talk to you about something."

A shadow of doubt passes over Jared's face and Jensen keeps his smile light and easy. "Not a bad thing," he adds.

"Okay," Jared says and nods. 

*

Jared insists on making coffee for them, and Jensen doesn't know how he does it, but it tastes better than Jensen's. He takes a few big gulps, sighing happily, before putting his mug down to focus on Jared.

Jared is sitting across from him at the small kitchen table, both hands curled around his own mug, but he's not drinking.

Jensen licks his lips and gives himself one more moment to think about what he's about to do, just to see if he's having any second thoughts. But there are none. Instead, he thinks about Jared here in his space, the big log cabin he built for himself out here, the home he created and always hoped to share with someone someday, and it fills him with warmth to think about Jared sitting across from him like this in the mornings, after spending the night. To share dinners with Jared here at the table. To share his bed with him.

"You know I can't read your mind, Jen," Jared teases softly.

Jensen cracks a grin and nods. "Jay," he starts and then takes a breath to calm down. "I like you, Jay. I like you a whole damn lot."

"Oh," Jared says, eyes going wide and then his cheeks turn an alarming shade of red, and he looks almost betrayed. "You don't have to do this, Jen. I know. I get it. It's just a stupid crush."

"What?" Jensen asks.

"You don't have to let me down gently or anything. That's what you want to talk to me about, right?" Jared says plainly, and there's hurt coloring his voice. "I know we're just friends."

"That's the thing, Jay. I would like to be more," Jensen admits, before Jared can jump to any more wrong conclusions. "I've been thinking about this for a while. And I think maybe we want the same things, at least I hope we do, and we could be pretty damn good together."

Jared is staring at him, mouth opening and then closing again.

"Jared?" Jensen prompts. "Say something. Please. It's okay if I got this all wrong and you don't feel the same way."

"You're straight."

Jensen snorts, a soft laugh escaping. "Well, I thought I was, yeah," he admits. "Until this whole having feelings for you thing happened. So I guess I'm not? I don't know what to tell you. Do I have to label myself?"

Jared purses his lips, looking down at his mug before back up at Jensen. "I can't be an experiment, Jen," he says, his tone soft and hurt. "Not even for you."

Jensen reaches across the table and curls his hand around Jared's wrist. "I wouldn't ask this of you if I wasn't sure. I'm not sure what I am and I understand if that's not something you can deal with," he says despite how much his admission pains him. "But you? You, I'm absolutely sure about."

"Jensen," Jared breathes.

"That guy who will make you feel not alone, Jay? I wanna be that guy," Jensen continues. "I want the whole thing with you. And it's not gonna be perfect, because god knows I'm not. But I wanna try for you."

Jared smiles then, all soft and sweet. "Jensen," he repeats.

"Tell me what you want, Jay," Jensen prods. 

"I want you to come here and kiss me," Jared says, his smile getting a little wider and his eyes looking suspiciously wet.

Jensen doesn't need to be told twice. He gets up and rounds the table, pulls Jared to him when he stands as well. 

Jared is taller than him. Jensen, of course, has known that, but it really hits him now when, for the first time ever, he has to lean up to kiss someone. He cups the back of Jared's neck, slides his free arm around his waist, and meets Jared's mouth with his. Brief and chaste at first, and then he goes in for a second kiss, lets this one linger. He feels Jared tremble against him, and he pulls him closer, holds him against him as he kisses him all slow and deep. 

Jensen expected kissing a guy to feel different. Expected rough stubble and a fight for control and for it to be rougher. But Jared is shaved smooth and sweetly pliant. He lets Jensen set the pace, hands curled in Jensen's shirt, and he parts his lips under Jensen's, allows Jensen to lick into his mouth and slide their tongues together with a small gasp. 

There are no fireworks, but it's pretty damn close. It feels right, kissing Jared, holding Jared against him, claiming his mouth and making Jared his. 

Jensen breaks the kiss, presses his mouth back to Jared once, twice, before he steps back. Jared's eyes flutter open, his lips pink and slick with spit, and Jensen's heart aches because he looks so damn beautiful like this. 

Jared gives him a slow, almost shy smile. "How was that?" he asks.

Jensen laughs and kisses Jared again in reply and then holds Jared against him, nuzzling his jaw. "I should have done this years ago, sweetheart."

Jared makes a small noise, like his breath catches, tilting his head to the side to give Jensen access to his neck.

"You like that? When I call you sweetheart?" Jensen guesses, placing soft kisses to Jared's skin.

"Yes," Jared admits. 

Jensen sighs contently. "Noted," he says. "_Baby_."

"Unfair," Jared mumbles, and Jensen laughs. He draws back, looking up at Jared's smiling face. He pushes a strand of hair behind Jared's ear, touches his cheek.

"Stay the night," he says and feels his cheeks grow hot. "Not for that. I wanna take it slow, do this right. But I'm not ready to let you go yet."

"You just want me to make breakfast for you in the morning," Jared accuses playfully, and Jensen grins at him.

"That too," he jokes.

*

Jensen is the one who ends up making breakfast the next morning, slipping out of bed carefully as to not disturb Jared. He isn't very good in the kitchen, but he can make scrambled eggs and bacon and pop some bread into the toaster, and the look on Jared's face when he comes downstairs is worth getting up early.

Jared wraps his arms around Jensen's neck and gives him a sweet, dimpled smile. "Look at you, being all considerate, making me breakfast," he says, and Jensen leans up and slots his mouth over Jared's in a simple kiss. 

"Good morning, sweetheart," he murmurs. "It's nothing fancy, but at least you won't have to go into work with an empty stomach."

Jared's smile gets softer and he kisses the tip of Jensen's nose, then the corner of his mouth. "I don't need fancy, Jen," he says, and Jensen pulls him into another kiss, just because he can, before ushering Jared towards the sparsely set table. 

There's no morning-after awkwardness, which Jensen was secretly dreading. Even when he dated girls from town, who he'd known before for years, the initial weeks had always felt a little uncomfortable, trying to find their footing. But Jared is still one of his best friends, someone who Jensen knows better than anyone, and he thinks that's what makes this easy. Or maybe it's that Jared is a guy and somehow that makes Jensen feel less out of his element.

Jared tells him about the plans he has for new cupcake creations while they polish off all of the food Jensen made. Jensen makes a face at Jared's idea of trying a lavender buttercream frosting, and Jared smirks at him.

"You're gonna try it."

"Jared," Jensen complains, but he knows he will. He's always tried Jared's baking, no matter how weird some of the combinations seemed, and he has to admit that he likes them more often than not. He's pretty sure lavender in anything isn't for him, but Jared gives him a look, eyes all wide and pretty, and Jensen sighs.

"You're killing me." 

They clean up the dishes together and then Jensen walks Jared to the door, albeit reluctantly. They part with a kiss, both of them smiling. 

"Come in today," Jared says in a murmur. "I'll give you a free cupcake."

"I'll try," Jensen promises and he presses his lips back to Jared's, sneaks one final kiss, before they say goodbye.

*

Jared insists he wants to make dinner for Jensen three days later and he comes over with bags upon bags of groceries. 

Jensen worked late, long after Matt and Ty finishined, mostly just tinkering with one of his little side projects, a small, old sailboat he bought used and is refurbishing. It's not a commission, just something Jensen does for fun in his free-time, at his own pace. He's bought a few boats like this in the past, spruced them up again, and resold them for cheap to people in the area. He thinks maybe he'll give this one to Jared, thought about it even when he bought the boat a few months ago.

Jensen is just leaving his workshop, still in his work clothes and probably smelling a little ripe, by the time Jared arrives.

"Sorry, lost track of time. I'm a mess," he says, wrinkling his nose, but Jared leans in for a kiss anyway as Jensen takes one of the shopping bags from him. 

"Hmm, you look good like this. You know, all dirty and manly," Jared says and there's only a hint of teasing.

Jensen grins and rolls his eyes. "I think I'd still better go clean up."

"If you have to," Jared says and sighs loudly. Jensen laughs and lets them inside, carrying the groceries into the kitchen before he goes to take a shower. He scrubs himself clean under the hot water, until his skin is pink and the suds trailing down the drain are white instead of murky gray. 

He thinks about shaving, because he's getting a little scruffier than usual, but he thinks maybe Jared likes him like this. He doesn't know a lot about the guys Jared has dated, but from the comments he's made Jensen knows he likes his men a little gruff, and the thought makes him grin. 

He puts on an old, faded pair of jeans, the fabric worn soft and clinging to his legs and ass, and a simple dark gray t-shirt, and then goes to join Jared downstairs in the kitchen.

It smells pretty damn amazing already and the sight of Jared making food for him, looking comfortable in Jensen's home as if he's done this a million times, is even better.

Jensen wraps his arms around Jared from behind, kisses the side of his neck and then peers over his shoulder. "Smells really good," he murmurs and strokes his hand over Jared's stomach. "What are you making, sweetheart?"

Jared leans back into him while he keeps stirring. "Pasta with scampi and spinach. Garlic bread is in the oven. And I brought a coffee cake for dessert," he says.

"God," Jensen breathes, his stomach rumbling. 

"What?"

"I might just have to keep you here. Lock the doors and never let you go," Jensen admits and kisses Jared's neck again. 

"Yeah? Am I gonna be your kept boy?" Jared teases. "You're gonna have to buy more kitchen utensils in that case. How do you even feed yourself, Jen? You barely have anything." 

Jensen laughs softly. "You know I'm not very good in the kitchen. Everything I can make doesn't require much more than one pot and one pan. Or a microwave," he admits, and Jared makes a disgruntled noise. "Tell me what you need me to buy and I'll get it."

"It's gonna be like that?" Jared asks, stepping out of Jensen's embrace to drain the pasta.

"Like what?" 

Jared tosses a smile at him over his shoulder. "I ask for something and you provide?" he elaborates. "You're gonna spoil me."

"I like taking care of you," Jensen says simply, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. 

Jared puts the pot down and turns to him, cupping Jensen's cheek and placing a soft kiss onto his lips. "You always have," he says and then kisses him again before pulling away. "Set the table, please?"

"Yes, dear," Jensen says, without even a hint of sarcasm. 

He likes this, this domesticity. When Jensen made plans for his house, he made sure there was enough space for two people, because he's always wanted that. Someone to share this space with him. He could get used to Jared being here easily. To home-cooked meals and Jared baking in his kitchen, to crawling into bed with him and having Jared's things clutter up the space. To a partnership. He hopes, ultimately, that's the kind of life Jared wants too—quiet, domestic, together.

They sit down together and dig in, and the first bite has Jensen letting out a pleased groan.

"God, this is good," he praises, and Jared looks pleased. 

"It's nothing special," he downplays. Jensen shakes his head.

"It _is_. This is amazing," he says. "And I don't think anyone has ever cooked dinner for me, except my family."

"None of your ex-girlfriends ever cooked for you?"

Jensen shrugs. "I think all of their cooking skills were about as good as mine," he says. "And it's been a while since I've been with someone who wasn't just casual. It wasn't like this."

He waves his hand between them and Jared looks down at his plate with a grin.

"It's been less than a week," he reminds Jensen.

"You know what I mean," Jensen says, and Jared looks up and nods slowly.

"Yeah," he agrees. 

Jensen takes another bite of food and then nudges Jared's ankle with his foot. "Let me take you out on Friday," he says. "I wanna go on a date with you."

"This isn't a date?" Jared asks.

"On _another_ date then," Jensen corrects himself with a smile. "We could go out for dinner. Maybe a movie. I know that's cliché…"

"No, it sounds nice," Jared replies. "I can get Katie or Gen to close up and leave a little early. You just name the time and place."

*

"So, where are you taking me?" Jared asks on Friday. He got to Jensen's at close to six, and there's an excited little smile on his face now as they get into the car together.

"Eugene," Jensen says as he starts the car. "I made dinner reservations for 7.30, but it's a bit of a drive."

"I'd say," Jared says, tone soft. "So. You're taking me all the way to the city, huh?"

Jensen keeps his eyes fixed ahead, but he reaches for Jared, finds his hand blindly and takes it in his. "I wanted to take you somewhere nice, with an actual movie theater," he explains and clears his throat. "And I didn't want to go out around here, where everyone knows. I didn't wanna have to pretend we're just friends and I'm not ready to, you know, let everyone know."

He feels his gut clench with guilt at that, feeling like an asshole for basically saying he wants to hide this. He doesn't want Jared to feel like a dirty little secret, but for now he is—they are—a secret.

"Hey, it's okay. I get it. This is all still so new to you; you have to take your time figuring out what you want to tell people, how to come out. I know it's not easy," Jared says. "I was fucking terrified when I did it."

Jensen nods. "It's not just that," he adds and squeezes Jared's hand. "It's about us too. I'm not ready for everyone to have an opinion about us yet, to add their two cents in. Whether because they approve or disapprove."

Jared snorts. "Yeah, that's not gonna be fun," he agrees. "There's no rush, Jen. Whenever we're ready, both of us."

Jensen exhales slowly, feeling some tension leave his body. "I don't deserve you," he murmurs.

Jared shifts closer, leans in close and presses a kiss to the curve of Jensen's shoulder, his hair brushing against Jensen's jaw. "I disagree," he admits. "Feels like a dream come true. You have no idea how long I've had a crush on you."

Jensen tips his head to the side, lets it rest against Jared's for a moment. "How long?"

Jared makes a quiet, embarrassed noise. "Always?" he says tentatively and then huffs out a laugh. "Fourteen when I _really_ realized it."

"And ever since?" Jensen asks, holding his breath. 

"Yeah. Ever since," Jared says quietly. 

Jensen gives Jared's hand another squeeze. "I'm sorry it took me so long to catch up, baby."

*

Jensen holds Jared's hand as they walk into the restaurant and it's one of the most exhilarating and terrifying things he's ever done. They get a few looks as they're led to a table, not all of them approving, but Jensen squares his shoulders and tries not to care. Jared has been doing this for years, facing people's judgement since he was a teeanger, and Jensen isn't about to back down because some people are staring at him. And it feels too damn nice, Jared's hand warm and big, and his smile bright, and his happiness means a million times more to Jensen than other people's displeasure.

Dinner is nice, the food good and the dessert better, even if Jensen thinks it doesn't come close to Jared's baking. 

Jared tries to insist that they split the bill in half, but Jensen refuses with a headshake.

"I asked you out, I pay," he says. "Plus, you paid for the groceries for dinner the other night."

"Well, that didn't cost me nearly as much as this," Jared says, waving at the check. "I could cook ten dinners for that."

"That's not how it works. But you're free to cook dinner for me whenever you feel like it," Jensen says smartly, grinning. 

"Okay, fine," Jared agrees with a sigh, and Jensen silently steels himself for another argument when it comes to who pays for the movie theater tickets later. 

The theater isn't far from the restaurant, so they decide to walk. They stroll down the streets side by side, arms brushing together, and when they get to the theater, Jensen holds the door open for Jared and puts his hand on the small of his back. Jared tips his head down and Jensen thinks his cheeks look a little pink.

"I think I'm never going to get tired of making you blush," he says, quietly so nobody will overhear. 

"I'm not blushing," Jared argues, and Jensen chuckles because Jared's cheeks are definitely coloring now.

"You are. And you're gorgeous," he says and curls his arm loosely around Jared's waist.

*

The movie they pick is, quite frankly, absolutely terrible. It's an action flick and it's not even the kind that so bad it's unintentionally hilarious, it's just _bad_. Jensen lasts through the first thirty minutes before he gives up and focuses on Jared instead of the big screen, and the dubious, displeased look on Jared's face makes him grin. 

He leans in, rests his hand on Jared's thigh. "Hey. Wanna make out instead?"

Jared makes a noise, turning to him with slightly wide eyes. The screen is throwing shadows across his face, angles sharp in the dark light, and Jensen's eyes slide down, catch on Jared's mouth. 

"Come here," he murmurs, slips one arm around Jared's shoulder and pulls him in. 

"We're not alone in here," Jared reminds him, but he's not resisting being tucked in close.

"Almost though," Jensen argues and brings his mouth to Jared's. Jared sighs and his hand comes to rest on the curve of Jensen's neck. Jensen kisses him slow and sweet, until Jared relaxes, goes pliant against him. Jensen nips at his bottom lip then, drawing a quiet moan from Jared, and coaxes Jared's lips apart with soft kisses. He settles his free hand on Jared's waist, curls his fingers in the fabric of his shirt, rucks it up enough that he brushes against a sliver of warm, smooth skin, and Jared shudders.

*

There's no hiding what they did during most of the movie as they leave the theater, their hair mussed and lips pink and puffy, cheeks flushed. Jensen is half-hard in his jeans and Jared keeps his head down as they stumble out, both of them laughing. 

"I feel like a teenager," Jared says and Jensen catches him around the waist outside on the sidewalk, tugs him against his side and kisses his cheek. 

"Fun, though, right?"

"Mmm. You're not a terrible kisser," Jared admits and Jensen grins. Jared sighs dramatically. "But you better have me home before my curfew or else I'll be in trouble. I'm a good boy, you know?"

Jensen laughs. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. But your ride ends at my place," he teases. "I guess you'll have to stay over."

"You're a horrible date," Jared says with mock outrage, before his expression turns fond. "Let's go home, doofus."

*

Jared spends several nights at Jensen's place over the next couple of weeks. There are home-made dinners and evenings curled up on the couch together, where more often than not whatever is playing on TV ends up being ignored in favor of making out.

Despite how slow they're taking things, Jensen can't remember a relationship making him feel this satisfied before. 

Having Jared in his life like this, in his arms at night, is addictive.

Almost an entire month passes before they move past making out. Curled up together in bed, Jensen slips his hand down Jared's underwear. He's felt Jared's dick through layers of clothes pressed against him before, but he feels a moment of hesitation before he touches him for the first time, a split moment of worry that he won't like it. But then his fingers curl around Jared and Jared makes a quiet, needy noise and arches into Jensen's touch and all of his worries dissipate. Jared is beautiful like this, cheeks flushed with pleasure, lips parted as he moans and whimpers quietly, his body writhing against Jensen and when he comes with a small cry Jensen decides this is his new favorite thing, making Jared fall apart for him.

Jared returns the favor by crawling down Jensen's body and sucking him off, and Jensen is pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven, Jared's mouth hot and wet and tight around him.

Afterwards, Jared curls up in his arms, sticky and sweaty, and smiles almost shyly. "So. How was that?" he asks, and Jensen can only laugh and draw Jared into a kiss. 

It gets even better after that. Jensen's first attempt at a blowjob isn't the greatest, but when he slips a finger past Jared's balls and slides over his taint, presses against his hole, Jared loses it almost instantly, and after, Jensen crawls up and kisses Jared, but keeps his hand between Jared's legs, fingers rubbing and exploring and finally pressing in. He brings Jared off just like that, with just two fingers inside of him, Jared hot and incredibly tight around him, slippery with lube. He clutches Jensen's shoulders, rocks down on his fingers almost desperately, and makes the most beautiful, wanton noises Jensen has ever heard, and Jensen kisses him through his second orgasm and falls even more in love with him as Jared shudders and begs and gasps his name.

*

Every last table in Jay's Café is crowded when Jensen comes in, and there's a long line leading up to the counter, Gen, Katie and Kathryn working hard to keep up with the orders.

Jensen stands at the end of the line, drumming his fingers against his thigh. It's one more week of this before he knows things will start to calm down considerably when summer break will be over in most regions and the tourists will leave. 

Jensen's business doesn't depend on tourists the way a lot of others in the area do and his workload won't lessen, but Jared's will. Jay's Café will close down for three days a week, open later and close earlier, and Jensen has been counting down the days because it means Jared will have more time for him. They've been seeing each other as much as possible, but it's not been easy, especially with Jensen not living right in town. 

Jensen finally makes it to the counter and smiles at Kathryn. "Hey. Can I have an Americano to go?"

"Of course, Jensen," Kathryn says, smiling up at him. "Anything else?"

Jensen shakes his head. "Is Jared around?"

"In the back, baking."

Jensen smiles. "Can you tell him I'm here? If he's not too busy and can take a break, I'll be somewhere outside if he wants to join me."

Kathryn's face falls a little. "I could join you…" she starts, but Gen cuts in before she can finish the sentence.

"You can work a little faster instead of hitting on every guy who comes in," she hisses and then she smiles tersely at Jensen. "Sorry. It's been crazy today."

"No problem. Let me pay and get out of your hair," he says.

"I'll let Jared know," Gen offers, and Kathryn huffs.

*

Jensen finds a spot close to the café, sitting down on the edge of the boardwalk, feet resting on the rocks leading down into the water. He looks out at the sea as he sips his coffee. There are a few boats coming and going, mostly carrying tourists, or private sail boats and small yachts. 

He doesn't have to wait long before a shadow falls across him and he tips his head back and grins when he sees Jared.

"Hey handsome," Jared says with a smile as he sits down. He's holding a coffee and paper bag, which he hands to Jensen.

"Hey. I wasn't sure if you weren't too busy for a break," Jensen says.

Jared shrugs. "I should have taken a break an hour ago. But I've made enough cupcakes and cookies to last us for the rest of the day," he says and nods at the bag. "Chocolate. Careful with the frosting."

Jensen puts his coffee down and peeks into the bag, two cupcakes sitting side by side. He grins and gets them out, hands one to Jared and keeps one for himself. "You better still like me when I gain a ton of weight between your cupcakes and your cooking," he jokes.

"I would," Jared says with a small grin. "But you won't. My cooking is healthier than the frozen crap you were eating before. You've been looking pretty damn good lately, anyway."

"Yeah?" Jensen grins and wiggles his eyebrows.

"You know how hot you are," Jared says and makes a face. "Half of the town likes to let you know every chance they get, starting with my employee in there."

"That's because someone is a pushover and doesn't tell her to cut it out."

"You?" Jared guesses with a sweet smile.

"She's not my employee, harassing customers," Jensen replies and nudges his shoulder against Jared's. "But I'm pretty sure either Katie or Gen are going to blow up at her soon." 

Jared sighs. "Yeah," he admits. "I'm good at baking and selling coffee. I'm not good at this being a boss thing."

"Hey, there are worse things than being _nice_," he reassures Jared. "In fact, if you wanna come over tonight, I'll show you just how much I appreciate how sweet you are."

Jared's lips turn into a smirk and nods. "I can come by after closing. Probably too late to cook dinner, though."

"Guess frozen pizza it is," Jensen suggests, and Jared makes a disgusted noise.

"I've got some stew in the freezer we could heat up and some bread I made yesterday," he says. "I'm not eating frozen pizza."

"Such a food snob," Jensen teases and Jared scowls, bottom lip coming out in a pout. For a second Jensen leans into Jared's side again, and murmurs quietly, "Wish I could kiss you right now, sweetheart. Would kiss that pout right off your lips."

"Tonight?"

"Second you get to my place," Jensen promises.

*

He makes good on his promise. Jensen waits for Jared outside on the porch, answering emails from clients on his tablet. The moment Jared's car pulls up, Jensen is up and striding down the three steps, and Jared is barely out of the car before Jensen has him in his arms, pressed against the side of the car, and he kisses him until Jared whimpers against his lips.

Jensen breaks the kiss then, and Jared murmurs, "No," and pulls him back in for another kiss.

They're both a little breathless by the time they finally make it inside, grinning and jostling each other, hands and arms brushing together. 

Jared goes to pull out a pot for the stew and as he peers into the cabinet, he makes a noise and then turns around. Jensen grins at him, feeling a surge of excitement at Jared's surprised reaction. Jared never made him a list of things he thinks Jensen's kitchen needs, but Jensen hit up a store when he was in Eugene for errands the other day and basically bought everything the saleswoman told him he might need, and then some stuff she said probably wasn't strictly necessary, just in case.

Jared turns and opens other cabinets as well, pulling open the drawer where Jensen keeps cutlery. "Jensen," he says.

"I hope I didn't forget anything," he says. 

"No. No, I think you got everything anyone could possibly need to cook a decent meal," Jared admits and turns back to him with a grin. "When the hell did you go shopping?"

"Couple of days ago," Jensen tells him. 

Jared gets that look on his face, that fond, sweet smile, dimples popping, and Jensen is prepared when Jared all but jumps him, opening his arms and only staggering briefly before he catches his balance, and Jared pulls him into a deep kiss.

"Thank you," Jared says and then flushes pink. "Not that I think this is just for me…"

"Oh no, it's for you," Jensen confirms and holds Jared tightly. "Did I do good?" 

"Jensen Ackles," Jared murmurs, smiling. "You always do good. _Always_."

*

In bed that night, curled up together tightly, they kiss, hips rocking together. Eventually, when they're both hard and panting, Jensen retrieves the bottle of lube from the nightstand and slicks up his fingers. 

He works Jared open slowly, fucks him with his fingers until Jared is a breathless, sweaty mess in his arms, trembling and moaning. 

Jensen stops then. He kisses Jared's brow, the bridge of his nose, the corner of his mouth. 

"Baby," he murmurs. "Can I fuck you?"

Jared's breath hitches. "You wanna?" he asks, sounding so desperate, so wanton. 

Jensen nods, scattering more kisses wherever his mouth can reach. "Yeah, god yeah. You just gotta walk me through it, gotta tell me what to do," he admits, nudging his nose against Jared's jaw. He kisses the spot beneath, sucks at it and rolls the skin between his teeth until Jared moans brokenly.

"Add another finger," Jared says, and Jensen kisses his warm, flushed cheek and complies. He tries to focus on making sure Jared is relaxed around him, muscles loose and hole slick with lube, Jared rocking down on him. 

"Okay. Okay, Jen," Jared finally says, voice breaking. 

Jensen rolls them over so Jared is on his back and settles between his spread legs. He rolls a condom down his cock, slicks himself up, and then cups Jared's cheek with his clean hand, kisses him. 

"Ready?"

Jared smiles and Jensen aches with how pretty he is, with how much he wants him. "Slow, okay? It's been a while," Jared admits.

Jensen nods. He hoists Jared's legs up over his shoulders, lines himself up and then slowly presses in. Jared is tight, tighter than Jensen expected, and he hopes he's doing this slow enough, careful enough. Jared sucks in a breath, but he smiles encouragingly at Jensen, nods when Jensen briefly falters, and Jensen works himself in with small rolls of his hips.

"Good?" he asks, and Jared nods, groaning when Jensen leans forward, hands on either side of Jared's face. 

"Move," Jared murmurs, and when Jensen pulls out and pushes back in, carefully, he grips Jensen's arms and moans. Jensen catches his open mouth in a kiss, thrusts again and then again.

He sets an easy, smooth rhythm at first, fucks Jared harder and faster when Jared tells him to. It's good. Better than good. The way Jared feels around him, all tight, perfect heat, is like nothing Jensen has ever felt before. Pleasure curls tightly in Jensen's belly, and he aches with how amazing it feels to be inside Jared, to fuck Jared and make his face lax with pleasure. 

He kisses him, again and again, muffles Jared's moans and cries with his lips, catalogues each right move he makes, and uses every last shred of willpower to make sure this is as good for Jared as it is for him, that Jared comes first.

He does, with a gasp and a cry, spilling wetly between them, and Jensen moans and fucks into Jared a handful more times before he follows him over the edge.

*

Jared nudges his nose against Jensen's jaw, kisses the side of his neck. "So," he says. "What's the verdict?"

Jensen laughs, wraps him up more tightly in his arms and kisses his temple. "What's the verdict?" he repeats and feels Jared grin against his skin. "On sex with a guy?"

"Hmmm."

Jensen kisses Jared's temple again, nuzzles the damp hair. "Pretty sure I'm a fan," he says.

"Yeah?"

Jensen palms Jared's jaw, tips his head back to look at him, thumb tracing circles over his cheek. "Were you worried I wouldn't like it?"

"Maybe a little," Jared admits, and Jensen leans in to rest his forehead against Jared's. 

"Sweetheart," Jensen murmurs. "There's no reason to worry."

*

Kane's is buzzing. There are still a few tourists, but it's mostly all locals today. It's Sunday, the last one before the last of the schools start up again. Summer has officially ended for Harper's Cove; the holiday season is over. And as per tradition, everyone is meeting up at Kane's to celebrate the end of yet another successful season, sharing drinks and stories.

Jensen is sitting tucked away in a corner booth with Jared, friends occasionally joining them at the table for a drink or two. Jensen is still nursing his first beer, because they still have to make the drive back home to his place later, and while Jared has had a few more, he's barely tipsy. They're sitting side by side, Jensen's arm over the back of the bench, fingers brushing against Jared's shoulder.

Danneel slides into the booth across from them, setting three shots down onto the table.

"Summer is over, bitches," she declares, and Jensen laughs. She's clearly had a few already, her cheeks red and eyes bright. She slides the shots over to them, and Jensen shakes his head.

"Not for me. I gotta drive."

"You're no fun," she says, pouting exaggeratedly. She picks up her shot glass, looking at Jared.

Jared toasts her and Jensen watches them both knock the shots back.

"Gross," Danneel says with a shudder and grins. "But good."

"That makes no sense," Jensen points out. 

"Your face makes no sense," Danneel replies. "But I still love you."

"Lucky me," Jensen says dryly. 

"You really are," Danneel says. "And now that the summer is over, you're even luckier, because I'll have a lot more time to hang out."

"Yay," Jensen snarks.

Danneel shakes her head and looks at Jared. "Jay, baby, how are we friends with him?"

Jared shrugs. "He has his good sides. He knows how to fix shit and stuff," he says, his voice a little off. Jensen knocks his knee against Jared's, raises his eyebrows at him, and Jared gives him a small smile.

"I gotta hit the head," he says, and Jensen makes room for him to slide out of the booth.

Danneel watches him leave and then turns to Jensen, smiling. "You good? I'm not used to you not drinking. You usually crash at Chris's." 

"Never been better," Jensen says honestly and nods at the door over Danneel's shoulder. "JD just got here." 

Danneel straightens a little, runs a hand over her hair, before craning her head back casually. "Guess he did," she says.

Jensen grins. "Not that you would care."

"No. Why would I?" Danneel asks innocently. "But I think I'll be at the bar, getting a new drink or whatever."

"Or whatever," Jensen echoes. "Definitely not waiting for Jeff to buy you a drink and take you home."

Danneel presses her hand to her chest. "I would never," she says dramatically and then grins. "Do I look okay?"

"Goddamn beautiful, as ever," Jensen tells her honestly, and her grin gets brighter.

*

They leave a little while later, Jensen ignoring Chris's complaint that the night is still young and things are just getting started as he pays for his tab. And it's true—people are steadily getting more and more drunk and more and more rowdy, but Jensen knows it'll be hours before the last people will head out. But with Jensen being the self-designated driver, that holds very little appeal and Jared has gotten more quiet, subdued, and Jensen thinks it's time for him to get some sleep. 

He knows Jared must be exhausted, knows he's pushed himself all summer. He's been working hard, between running the café and doing most of the baking himself, and then driving out to Jensen's more and more nights a week. He's never complained; Jared does the things he does because he loves them. He loves baking and cooking and putting a smile on people's faces. On Jensen's, specifically. And Jensen is goddamn lucky to have Jared's attention, to have him pamper him with food as well as his affection. But Jensen guesses Jared's about to crash—like so many people in town who push themselves to the limit during the summer.

So Jensen pays for their drinks and then ushers Jared outside, even when Jared tells him they can stay a little longer.

In the car, Jared slumps into the passenger seat. Jensen turns the radio on, finds his favorite rock station, but keeps the music turned down low as he drives them out of town.

"You okay?" he asks quietly, glancing at Jared.

Jared looks at him and nods, brings his thumb to his mouth and gnaws at a hangnail. 

Jensen turns his attention back to the dark road, biting back a smile. He's been vaguely aware of it before, but it only hit him over the past few months how much Jared does this. Fucking oral fixation and it's been driving Jensen insane, wanting to replace whatever Jared has in his mouth with his lips, kiss him stupid.

He shifts in his seat, and Jared sighs.

"Tired?" Jensen asks.

"Hmm. Yeah," Jared replies, and Jensen takes another glance at him. Jared is looking thoughtful.

"Hey. What's up?" Jensen prods. 

Jared drops his hand, turns to him and gives him a small smile. "Nothing," he says and blows out a breath. "It's stupid."

Jensen reaches for him, takes Jared's hand in his and rubs his thumb over Jared's knuckles. "Tell me anyway."

"_You'll_ think it's especially stupid," Jared says with a small groan. "It's just… Danneel."

"What about Danneel?"

Jared moves, squirms like he's nervous, then exhales loudly again. "You know most people in town always thought you two would end up together? Still do. 'S all I ever hear. How good a match you'd be. How beautiful you two would look together," he says. "How you'd make the _prettiest babies_."

Jensen snorts. "Obviously that's not happening," he says, squeezing Jared's hand. "Don't tell me you're jealous?"

"No… maybe a little," Jared admits. 

"Jay, I'm with you. And I never wanted to be with her," Jensen reassures him quietly, confusion coloring his voice. If Jared is worried about Danneel, about _anyone_ really, then maybe he hasn't been as good a boyfriend as he thought. 

"Yeah, that's why it's so stupid," Jared mutters. He rests his hand on top of their clasped hands, then runs it up Jensen's forearm, curls around it. "I think I'm just now realizing how much I was pining for you. I was trying to ignore it, but sometimes it was so miserable."

Jensen's heart clenches at Jared's admission and he tightens his hand around Jared's. 

"I'm sorry," he murmurs and he wishes they were home already, so he could hug Jared close, reassure him that things are different now, that he's going to make Jared as damn happy as he possibly can.

"Hey," Jared says. "You have nothing to apologize for. It's not your fault."

"I made you miserable," Jensen points out, his throat tight.

"No. No, the situation made me miserable. Being in unrequited love made me miserable. You always made me happy, just by being my friend, Jen," Jared says. "It was just one of those things. I wouldn't let myself move on. Because you're hard to get over. And maybe because I'm a romantic fool and deep down I always hoped maybe one day things would change."

"Well, you were right about that," Jensen replies. 

Jared laughs softly, shifts to rest his cheek against the curve of Jensen's shoulder. "Yeah. But I was an idiot for thinking it might happen anyway, 'cause what were the chances?" 

"Ever thought about the fact that maybe _I _was the idiot because it took me so long to realize what was right here in front of me all along?" Jensen replies. 

"Yeah. But you're my idiot," Jared quips. "Anyway, the past is the past and it doesn't matter now. I'm just… being melancholic tonight. Guess you're right and I really am tired."

"Been a long summer," Jensen agrees with a hum. 

"But a good summer," Jared adds. "I can't wait for things to slow down. To get some sleep."

"You can sleep in tomorrow," Jensen reminds him. "And I'm not working tomorrow either."

"You're not?"

"Nah. Matt and Ty are out tonight along with everyone else, so I doubt they'd be much use tomorrow. So I'm keeping the shop closed tomorrow," Jensen explains. "I figured that way you and I could hang out, since Jay's is closed tomorrow. Unless you have plans."

"No," Jared says and then turns his head, kisses Jensen's shoulder once, twice, before speaking, words muffled against Jensen's shirt. "Well. I _was _going to ask you for a favor."

His tone is all sugary sweet, and Jensen knows that if he wasn't driving, Jared would be batting his pretty eyes at him right now and giving him one of those smiles that make Jensen do whatever Jared asks.

"What is it?" he asks with a laugh.

"My car's been making these noises lately," Jared says. "You ever hear a seagull die, but like, dramatically?"

"Can't say I have," Jensen says and smirks.

"It's not a good sound," Jared states. "Think you can take a look at it? I'm not sure it would make the trip to the closest mechanic anyway." 

"I'll see what I can do tomorrow, sweetheart."

"Thank you," Jared says and kisses Jensen's shoulder again. "Hmm. Dating you comes with all kinds of amazing perks."

"I would have fixed your car before we started dating too," Jensen points out.

"Yeah. But now I can thank you by letting you screw me until I forget my own name," Jared replies smartly and Jensen laughs.

*

Jensen lets Jared sleep in the next morning, carefully extracting himself from the tangle of Jared's limbs as to not wake him as he slips out of bed. Jared gives a little snore, but he keeps sleeping, curling his arm around a pillow instead of Jensen.

Jensen smiles and quietly retrieves a pair of thin, old sweatpants and a t-shirt before tiptoeing out of the room. 

He starts the coffee before he sets out to make pancakes. He uses a mix, because that's the only way he knows how to make them and they won't be nearly as good as Jared's, but it's the thought that counts. And thanks to Jared his fridge is stocked with fruit he can cut up, and yoghurt, and there's some fancy hazelnut flavored coffee creamer that Jared is in love with.

He has a tray, one of the many things he bought for his kitchen recently, and as he sets everything down onto it, he has to admit it looks pretty good. And just the fact that Jared is getting breakfast in bed, even if it's not the greatest, will surely earn him some points.

He sets the tray down by the bed and opens the curtains, cracks the window open to let the seabreeze in. The bed dips as he sits down on the edge of the mattress, jostling Jared a little. 

"Hey sweetheart," Jensen murmurs. He runs his fingers through Jared's hair, smoothes it back and smiles when Jared's nose twitches. "Wake up, darling. I made breakfast."

"'sen?" Jared mumbles, eyelids fluttering but not opening.

"Good morning," Jensen says and leans down, kisses Jared's temple, the high point of his cheekbone, the apple of his cheek.

Jared is sprawled out on his stomach, sheets tangled around his hips, and Jensen runs his hand down the warm skin of his back. "Sweetheart," he cajoles and Jared's eyes finally open.

"Hmph," he groans and then yawns. "Time's it?"

"Around ten," Jensen replies, and kisses the corner of Jared's lips, smiles when Jared cranes his head back to give him better access to his mouth.

"Why are you up?"

"I made breakfast. It's right next to the bed," Jensen says. He finally tugs at the sheets to crawl in beside Jared again and Jared flops over onto his back.

He rubs his eyes. "Breakfast in bed?"

"Yeah. Figured you deserved a little pampering," Jensen says and picks the tray up, setting it down carefully on the mattress as Jared pushes himself up into a sitting position.

"Because I threw a fit last night?" Jared jokes. "Because I can do that more often." 

Jensen rolls his eyes and tugs at a strand of Jared's hair. "Feel free not to," he shoots back. "I just thought it'd be nice. We can have a nice, lazy morning and then see what we wanna do with the rest of the day, other than taking a look at your car."

Jared smiles, dimples deep and hair a mess and sleep lines on one cheek. "You're the best," he says, and Jensen cups his neck and pulls him to him, slotting his mouth over Jared's.

Jared gently nudges him back. "You might want to let me go brush my teeth first. I've got that gross, funky post-alcohol taste in my mouth," he says, wrinkling his nose. "I blame Danneel's shots."

Jensen laughs and draws Jared back in. He cups Jared's face, nudges his face towards his so the angle is perfect and kisses him again pointedly, makes it all slow and deep until Jared goes pliant, opens his mouth to Jensen's. He really doesn't taste very pleasant, sour and a little bitter, but Jensen can feel a dimple under his thumb, listens to the way Jared sighs softly into it, and he doesn't care one bit. 

When the kiss ends, he frames Jared's face with both hands, presses another quick kiss to Jared's smile, then brushes his lips over the mole next to Jared's nose.

"God, I love you, sweetheart," he murmurs, nudging his nose against Jared's, kissing the soft curve of his upper lip.

Jared stills and only then does Jensen realize what he said. It's not new to him, he's thought it a million times, but it's the first time he's said it, the words just slipping out. He pulls back a little, looks at Jared's wide eyes.

"Jared," Jensen starts, and Jared shakes his head, gives him a weak smile.

"It's okay. Don't worry," he says, "Sometimes stuff slips out that we don't really mean. I do that all the time. I once told my delivery guy I loved him and the dude is almost sixty and married, but we were running out of flour and sugar and the café was super busy, so I was really starting to worry I'd have to tell people there'd be no more cupcakes."

"Jared," Jensen interrupts Jared's ramblings. He cards Jared's hair back with one hand and slides the thumb of the other over Jared's lips to shut him up. "You think I didn't mean that? Jared, I love you. I'm stupidly in love with you."

Jared stills again and Jensen feels his breath against his thumb, warm and damp. When his smile comes, it's wide and blinding. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, positive, baby."

"God," Jared mutters and laughs. "If there wasn't a tray with hot coffee on my lap right now, I'd tackle you."

"Well, the coffee is probably starting to turn lukewarm," Jensen offers, and Jared huffs, still grinning.

"And whose fault is that? You're the one who keeps kissing me."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Jensen mocks, and Jared's smile turns all soft, almost shy.

"Hey. I love you too, you know that, right?" he says. 

Jensen nods and kisses his cheek. "I kinda figured," he says, and Jared leans into him.

"Say it one more time. And then we can have breakfast."

"I love you. More than anything," Jensen murmurs, and Jared grins.

"Wow, you're a sap, Ackles," he replies cheekily.

*

Jensen turns the key and the car sputters, making a sound that really does sound suspiciously like a seagull dying dramatically, one last loud, screechy cry, and then the engine dies again.

Jared leans down in the open car door and peers at him with a frown. "So," he prompts, sounding forlorn.

"I'm afraid there's nothing much I can do, sweetheart," Jensen admits apologetically, keeping his voice low so nobody passing by on the street might overhear the term of endearment. Jared has his car parked along the narrow street next to Jay's Café and his apartment right above it in the same building. There aren't many people out here today, but the main street in front of the café that winds right along the shoreline to their small harbor is still fairly busy.

Jared groans. "Well, fuck," he mutters and steps back so Jensen can get out of the car again. "How much do you think it would cost to get it fixed? Just a rough ballpark figure."

"Jay, I don't think it _can_ be fixed," Jensen says. "If it can, it'd cost a lot more than this car is worth. It's kind of a piece of trash."

"Hey," Jared protests weakly and then groans again. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," Jensen says and rubs Jared's arm. It leaves a smudge of grease on Jared's skin and Jensen goes to grab the cloth that's hanging on the open door, wiping his hands with it. "It'd be cheaper to buy a new car."

"Fuck," Jared mutters again.

"If you need money," Jensen starts carefully, and Jared shakes his head.

"No, it's okay. I had plans to get a new, bigger oven for the café, but I guess that'll just have to wait," he says with a sigh and runs a hand over his face. "You'll help me pick out a new one, right? I'm useless with cars."

"Of course," Jensen says. "We can drive out to the closest dealership, take a look around together. Just tell me what you need and we'll find something perfect."

Jared frowns and waves at his VW Polo. "Ugh, something just like this is fine? I _really_ don't know shit about cars, but I don't need much." 

Jensen looks at the beat-up car Jared has been driving around forever and then at Jared. "Seriously?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"Well, you barely even fit in it, for one," Jensen points out. "And maybe you should get something that doesn't look like it's going to fall apart any second. Nice and sturdy, so your boyfriend doesn't have to worry about you making the trip to his place safely all the time."

Jared rolls his eyes, but Jensen can see his lips twitching up into a smile. "How about I set a budget and you pick what you think I should drive. As long as it's not horribly ugly or obnoxiously big, I'm cool with it." he suggests. "I wouldn't want my boyfriend to worry."

"Good," Jensen grins and then holds up his dirty hands. "I need to clean up," he says, and Jared nods.

Jensen slams the hood down and Jared locks the car before they head inside and upstairs to Jared's place. 

"How about next week?" Jensen suggests as he heads straight to the kitchen to scrub his hands clean. "Can you manage without a car for a few days? I've got a client coming to pick up his boat on Saturday and it needs a few finishing touches."

"That's okay. I can borrow Gen's car or Chad's if I need to run errands," Jared says, but sounds a little crestfallen. He leans against the counter next to Jensen.

"I can come pick you up when you wanna sleep over at my place," Jensen offers.

"People might talk," Jared starts and sighs. "It's kinda been obvious that I have been spending a couple of nights every week somewhere else."

"Yeah?" Jensen asks, pumping more soap into his hand to get all of the grease and dirt off. He's not an idiot, he figured people would suspect something is up eventually, at least with Jared. 

"They think I've been seeing someone who's staying in one of the beach houses for the summer, or someone from another town," Jared admits. "I've kinda just let them talk, not really denying anything. I figured that might work more in our favor than me denying it's either of those."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees, and he feels a little bad that Jared has been having to lie for him, that they're still keeping this thing between them a secret. He just needs a little more time, needs to figure out how he wants to tell his parents before anyone else in town finds out. "But hey, we've always hung out a lot. People seeing us together isn't a big deal. And I don't want to spend an entire week apart."

He runs water over his hands one last time and then grabs one of the dishtowels to pat his hands dry.

"If you're sure," Jared agrees, giving him a small smile. "Because a week sleeping apart really would kinda suck."

*

Saturday evening finds them out on Jensen's porch after dinner, after Jensen's client picked up his boat and made the final payment. Jensen gets them both a cool beer from inside.

"All I have," he says apologetically as he hands a bottle to Jared and they settle down on the porch swing. It creaks a little when Jensen gives it a small push.

"It's fine," Jared says. 

"I'll pick up some wine next time I'm in town," Jensen offers and Jared snorts.

"I don't need wine. And if you buy some in town, everyone will be talking about Jensen Ackles buying wine and how that can only mean he has a new girlfriend."

Jensen huffs. "I'm not totally uncultured. I drink wine every now and then."

"When someone else serves it to you," Jared teases and leans into Jensen's side. Jensen wraps his arm around Jared's shoulder, tucks him in against his side. "You know you don't have to spoil me, right? I'm gonna stick around even if you don't."

"I like spoiling you," Jensen replies, and looks down at Jared's smiling face, cheek resting against his shoulder.

"Hmm, I do suppose having a rich sugar daddy is kinda nice," Jared admits jokingly.

"I'm not rich by any means. I'm not old enough to be your sugar daddy. We're only four years apart." 

"You're maybe not a millionaire. But I know how much your boats sell for," Jared says and rests his hand on Jensen's leg, sinking down a little more so he's laying against Jensen. "Not that I care about how much you make. But don't downplay how fucking amazing you are and that you have a successful business you got off the ground all by yourself."

"So do you," Jensen points out and takes a sip of his beer. 

"Yeah, we're a real power couple," Jared jokes. He rests his beer on Jensen's knee, hand loosely curled around it, and Jensen jostles it a little. Jared laughs and tips his head back, nose brushing against Jensen's jaw. "Seriously, though. I'm real proud of you. Always have been."

"Thank you, baby," Jensen murmurs, warmed by Jared's words. He's doing well for himself and he's proud of that, knows his parents are proud too, but there was a time where his dad had hoped Jensen would follow in his footsteps instead, work the trawler with him and his parents had both been disappointed that he had chosen a different path, just like Josh, instead.

His friends had encouraged him to do his own thing, to take the apprenticeship with an old, crotchety boatbuilder a few towns from here. Most of all he remembers a fifteen-year-old Jared looking at him with a sweet smile, telling him he thought it was a cool job. "You can build a boat for me someday," he'd said, and Jensen had told him he would and he'd meant it. He'd build him a thousand boats if that was what Jared asked him to do.

"Hey," Jared says, drawing him out of his thoughts. 

"Hmm?"

"Wanna go for a swim?" Jared suggests. "It's a nice night. Still warm enough."

Jensen grins at the idea. "You don't have any swimming trunks," he teases and Jared laughs and puts his beer down. He gets up and holds his hand out to Jensen.

"Guess I'll have to go without then," he says.

*

Jensen has never been more happy about the fact that he lives remotely. People might tease him for being a loner all they want, but his place comes with complete privacy and that means he gets to watch Jared strip down naked in the dim light of an almost set sun and jump off the dock with a happy cry. 

Jensen follows him, gasping at how cold the water feels initially, but he knows he'll get used to it quickly. They splash around for a while and then race to a buoy bobbing in the water and back to the dock, which of course Jared wins because the guy is all legs and arms. 

"What do I win?" Jared asks, only panting a little.

Jensen catches him around the waist, pulls him close, and Jared curls his arms around his neck with a grin, water dripping down into his face from his hair. 

"Don't dunk me," he warns with a smile, his voice soft.

Jensen wraps his arms around him more securely, treading water, and kisses Jared's jaw, then his neck, tasting the saltwater on his lips and feeling Jared's pulse beneath his mouth. "I won't," he promises. 

"So. My prize? I think maybe I should be able to ask for anything I want," Jared suggests.

Jensen nips at his jaw. "We didn't agree to any prizes, baby," he says and smiles. "How about I tell you a secret though?"

He tips his head back and Jared frowns at him. "What secrets do you have from me?" he asks, and he sounds a little affronted by the idea of Jensen keeping something from him. 

"Turn around," Jensen says, and Jared huffs, but lets go of him and turns. Jensen slides his arms back around him, hugs him from behind.

"See my boat?" he says, pointing at the old fishing boat he bought back when he first started his own business and renovated and remodeled it for himself, looming peacefully in the water next to the dock now. In the almost dark he can still make out the name _Jay_ written in white on the dark blue paint.

"Yes. I've seen it a million times," Jared says, exasperated.

Jensen kisses the soft spot behind Jared's ear. "I didn't name it after myself, baby."

Jared is quiet for a moment and then he says Jensen's name. "Are you serious?" 

"Yeah."

"Jensen. You named a boat after me _years ago_. Your boat?" Jared stresses and Jensen nods.

Water splashes as Jared spins around in his arms again. "Jensen, you moron," he says, and he sounds like he wants to cry. "You've been in love with me for years, haven't you?"

Jensen sighs, leans in to kiss Jared softly. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm starting to realize that." 

Jared laughs, the sound wet, and curls his arms tight around Jensen's neck, hugging him close. "You're so stupid," he says and Jensen holds him close and nods into the crook of Jared's neck, feet kicking to keep them both afloat.

*

They buy Jared a new car the next week. If it was up to Jensen, they'd pick out something big and sturdy, that could withstand any wind and weather and possibly nuclear warfare, but Jared just rolls his eyes at the first few cars Jensen suggests and then reminds him of his limited budget. 

They find a compromise they can both live with, a used but well-maintained Ford, something safe and not run-down like Jared's old car. And one that Jensen won't have any trouble fixing and getting spare parts for, if necessary, something Jensen insists on.

He thanks all his lucky stars for the fact that Jared has a new car a couple of weeks later. A big storm rolls in, the sky turning dangerously dark and the smell of ozone heavy in the air.

Jensen has just enough time to store away everything that could possibly not withstand the heavy wind that is starting to pick up and make sure his boats are as secure as possible, before the rain starts to hit.

He's in his kitchen, making himself some coffee when he sees headlights outside as a car pulls up. By then the rain is coming down heavily and the wind is howling around his house, the sky rumbling with thunder.

Jensen hurries to his front door. Even the short sprint from his car to Jensen's porch is enough to have left Jared completely drenched and Jensen ushers him inside quickly.

"Jesus, baby, what the hell are you doing here?" he asks, taking Jared by the arms and peering at his face, his hair plastered to his skin. "Wait here. I'll get you towels and dry clothes."

He doesn't wait for a reply, just rushes upstairs to retrieve everything, picking out sweats and a hoodie and a thick pair of socks for Jared.

Back downstairs, Jared is standing exactly where Jensen left him. He's shivering and there's a puddle around him.

"Strip," Jensen says, and puts the dry clothes down on the dresser next to the door before unfolding one of the towels. He wraps Jared up in it the moment he's out of his wet clothes, rubbing his arms briskly through the layer of terrycloth. He kisses the tip of Jared's nose.

"Why the hell would you drive in this kinda weather, baby?" he murmurs, hands still working to get Jared dry and warm.

"I thought I could make it before it got too bad," Jared admits and rolls his bottom lip between his teeth.

"I'm not gonna yell at you, but I really kind of want to yell at you right now," Jensen admits. "You know how fucking dangerous the roads up here get in this kinda weather."

"Sorry," Jared says, almost meekly. "I wanted to be here with you… I'm kinda not too good with bad storms."

As if to prove his point, he flinches when a loud thunder cracks outside.

Jensen bites back a smile. It's adorable to think someone Jared's size can be afraid of storms, but he can tell Jared isn't joking, looking seriously worried. Jensen kisses him, soft and quick.

"Come on then, get dressed and I'll make coffee for both of us and we can go cuddle on the couch," he suggests. "I don't think this is going to blow over fast."

"It's supposed to get really bad," Jared says with a sigh.

"Well, I'll keep you safe," Jensen says, no teasing in his voice, and kisses Jared again.

*

The power goes out a couple of hours later. They've been cuddled up on the couch, Jared pressed close. They tried watching TV, but the noise of the storm and rain was too loud and so they ended up just talking. 

Particularly loud thunder makes Jared jump, his expression pinched when the wind howls outside. Jensen has an arm curled around his waist, fingers stroking random patterns through Jared's shirt, and he does his best to distract Jared. He's not terrified, but he's clearly uncomfortable.

When the lights go out, Jared makes an unhappy noise and turns his face into Jensen's shoulder. "Great," he mutters.

Jensen sighs, lips finding Jared's temple in the darkness. "Let me go look if I can fix it. Maybe a fuse just blew."

"Okay," Jared says and pulls away slowly. Jensen fumbles for his phone on the coffee table and turns the flashlight on. 

"I'll be right back," he says, and Jared smiles at him.

"I know. I'm okay. It won't kill me, I just don't like this very much," he says. 

Jensen still hurries. Unfortunately, it's not just a fuse, but must be a bigger problem. Jared doesn't look surprised when Jensen comes back and Jensen shakes his head.

"I can get us some candles," he offers. "Or we can just head to bed."

"Bed," Jared chooses and gets up from the couch with a small groan, the woolen blanket he'd covered himself with slipping down onto the couch. He stretches, Jensen's shirt riding up to show his belly.

"Damn, baby," Jensen grins.

"What?"

"You look good in my clothes."

Jared laughs, some of the tension easing, and he ducks down and kisses Jensen chastely. "I can wear them more often if that does something for you."

"Feel free," Jensen says. He slips an arm around Jared, hand settling on the swell of his butt. "Come on, bed. Hopefully by tomorrow the power will be back and the storm will have blown over."

"Yeah," Jared agrees wistfully. 

They part to go upstairs, but Jared is on him the moment they crawl into bed, pressing close and sliding one leg between Jensen's. Jensen wraps him up in his arms and tugs him in even closer, used to sleeping in a tangle of limbs by now. Regardless of what position they go to sleep in, he always wakes up with Jared all over him, arms and legs thrown around him, and Jensen is starting to think he must be part octopus.

Now, Jared tucks his head under Jensen's chin, mouth brushing his collarbone. "Thanks for not making fun of me tonight," he says, the words muffled and damp against Jensen's skin.

"Hey, no. Why would I?" Jensen soothes and runs his fingers through Jared's hair. 

"I don't know. I'm a big guy, it's kinda ridiculous that I'm scared of storms," Jared says, inching back a little until his mouth isn't touching Jensen's skin anymore. 

"We all have things like that," Jensen says. "I'm really not good with heights. You're not going to get me on a plane, ever."

"There's no romantic trip to Europe in my future then?" Jared teases.

"Afraid not," Jensen says with a little grin. "Hope that's not a dealbreaker."

"I'll live," Jared says. There's another loud crack of thunder outside and Jared flinches in his arms, head knocking against Jensen's chin and Jensen hisses at the burst of pain. "_Fuck_."

"Careful. It's okay," he says soothingly and shifts them a little, stroking Jared's back. "I've got you, Jay."

"Sorry," Jared apologizes, sounding small.

Jensen sighs and kisses the top of his head. "'S okay. Didn't hurt," he lies, and feels Jared relax a little under his palm.

"My grandparents babysat us once during a thunderstorm. My parents were out somewhere," Jared murmurs. "It wasn't as bad as this, just a regular thunderstorm."

"Hmm."

"You know my grandma. She's of the 'if a child cries, let them cry' belief, you know? I remember getting scared, but she just told me to go to bed, stop making such a fuss," Jared says. "My siblings were fine. Even Meg, and she was tiny. So I guess she just thought I was being unnecessarily dramatic. Maybe I was, you know me." 

"You were a kid," Jensen murmurs.

"Yeah. Anyway. I remember being alone in my room, crying my eyes out until my parents came home," Jared says and sighs. "I think it's been one of those things that make me feel uneasy ever since."

"Anything I can do to make you feel better?" Jensen asks. 

He feels Jared shake his head. "This is good," he says and then snuggles closer again. Jensen is still idly stroking Jared's back, sometimes sweeping his hand up to pet Jared's hair, and he keeps the movements up until Jared's breath evens out and Jensen starts to drift off too.

*

A loud crash startles Jensen awake. It's pitch black in his bedroom, rain splattering loudly against the windows and onto the roof. 

Jared moves, squirms and Jensen picks up on his labored breathing.

"Jay?"

Jared's arms tighten around him for a moment. "I think that was outside," he says, and he sounds completely alert.

"Shit," Jensen says. He shifts away. "Let me check."

"You're not going outside," Jared states, holding on to Jensen.

"Nah, just gonna look out the window if I can see something. Maybe check around the house to make sure everything's okay," Jensen replies, hand stroking up Jared's arm before he pulls out of Jared's embrace. Jared lets him go this time.

Jensen tries his bedside lamp, but the power must still be out, so he feels around the nightstand for his phone.

It's too dark outside for Jensen to see anything, the storm still raging. "Probably was a tree out back. Had a couple come down last year during a storm too," he says. 

He goes to check the rest of the house next, but everything looks fine, all the windows shut and no water coming in anywhere. Jensen's bare feet are cold by the time he returns to the bedroom and he shivers a little as he crawls back into bed, turning the light on his phone off.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Like I said, it was probably a tree," Jensen says, sliding a hand under Jared's t-shirt, seeking warm skin. "You been up for a while?"

"A little bit," Jared admits, and Jensen guesses it's been a while. 

Jensen sighs. He worms one leg between Jared's, hooks his foot behind Jared's calf. "You should have woken me up," he admonishes gently, as he trails his fingers down to the small of Jared's back, brushing against the waistband of his underwear.

"It's not that bad," Jared says. Jensen leans in, his mouth finding the corner of Jared's in the darkness, and he ducks down, catches Jared's lips this time.

"Bet I can help you fall asleep," he murmurs, then kisses Jared again. He nudges him over onto his back, follows him down, and smiles against Jared's mouth when he makes a soft, needy noise as Jensen settles his weight down on top of Jared.

*

The worst of the storm has passed by morning, but it's still raining steadily and the power is still out. There's indeed a tree that has come down during the night, branches fanning out over Jensen's patio. 

Jensen does a quick check of his workshop and finds water has leaked in through a window that's rattling badly when Jensen gives the handle a little tug. He knows Jared is waiting for him in the house, so he mops up the water quickly, spreads some cloth on the ground beneath the window and then tapes it shut with a tarp.

"Everything okay?" Jared asks when Jensen returns. He stays in the hallway, boots caked with mud and his raincoat dripping water.

"Some water leaked in, but it's not too bad," Jensen replies. "You ready to leave? I'm coming into town with you."

"What about work?"

Jensen shakes his head. "I'm sure they can use my help around town. I doubt Ty and Matt are coming in either," he says and smiles at Jared. "Plus, you have a generator at Jay's, right? I really need some coffee."

"Addict," Jared says fondly, placing a kiss to Jensen's lips before grabbing his shoes. 

*

Jay's Café shouldn't open for another thirty minutes when they get there, but the lights are on and people are scattered inside while Katie and Jared's mom are making coffee and tea. 

"Honey," Jared's mom says when they come in, looking relieved. "I was wondering where you were. Are you okay?"

Jared nods and steps behind the counter, pecking her on the cheek. "I was at Jensen's yesterday and I crashed there instead of driving back through the storm," he lies and heads for the espresso machine, glancing back at Jensen briefly.

Jensen smiles and gives him a quick wave. He spies Jeff at the counter and heads over there. "How bad's the damage?" he asks.

"Could have been worse," Jeff says with a sigh. "Some trees came down, a lot of branches that need to be cleared off streets. A few roofs need patching up, water has leaked into a few houses."

Jensen nods. "I'll help with whatever I can," he offers. "Just tell me where you need me."

Jeff claps him on the shoulder. "Thanks, Jensen. That'd be great," he says. "I'm gonna finish my coffee and head out."

"Alright. I need some coffee too and then I'm ready to be put to work," Jensen says. 

"Everything out at your place okay?" Jeff inquires and Jensen nods.

"A window needs fixing, but there's no rush and I can handle that myself. One of the old trees behind the house came down, but it's not in the way, so it can stay until I get to it," he says. 

He looks up when a mug is placed down in front of him as well as a plate with a muffin, and he smiles at Jared.

"Muffin's from yesterday, but it's still good," Jared says. 

"Thank you, Jay."

Jared nods. "Be careful out there today, okay?" he says and then smiles weakly and looks at Jeff. "Uh, all of you."

*

It's a busy day, and the only real break Jensen gets is a quick lunch at Jay's, scarfing down a sandwich and more coffee, which Jared refuses to let him pay for.

"It's on the house for everyone who is helping with the cleanup today," he insists, and Jensen wishes he could kiss that dimpled smile right then and there.

Power comes back halfway through the day and the rain lets up in the afternoon. He spends the day lugging debris and temporarily fixing the worst damage on roofs and mopping water up in the homes of a few elderly townsfolk who can't do it themselves.

It's late by the time he finishes and he's dead on his feet. He has a text waiting from Jared, telling him he's at his apartment and there's hot soup waiting for Jensen; just reading that makes his stomach rumble loudly.

"You're a fucking angel," he says when Jared lets him in and the smell of something hot and aromatic hits his nose. "What did you make? It smells great."

"Lentil soup with some beef and bacon," Jared tells him after he kisses him. 

"Sounds great," Jensen says, stripping out of his damp and dirty coat and shoes. "Let me go wash up. Can I borrow some sweats?"

"Go ahead," Jared says. "You wanna take a shower?"

"I think I need to get some food in me first," Jensen admits and undoes his jeans as he heads for Jared's bedroom. He falters in the doorway, craning his head back. "Where…"

"Big dresser on the left, second drawer," Jared says, and Jensen nods in thanks. 

His mouth waters as he sits down at the table a couple of minutes later, a bowl of soup in front of him, and he groans in satisfaction as he eats the first spoonful. "This is exactly what I needed, baby. Fucking amazing." 

Jared gives him a small grin. "Sometimes I think my cooking is your favorite thing about me." 

"Nah, only my second favorite thing," Jensen says, smirking. "Favorite is your perky booty, of course."

"Of course," Jared echoes. "Sex and food and you're happy. You're such a guy sometimes."

"You like that about me. I bet you were swooning all day, thinking about me being all manly and fixing things around town," Jensen mocks, and Jared snorts.

"I was having nightmares about you falling off some roof," he replies. 

"Nah, I wouldn't dare die before I've put a ring on it. Gotta make sure you can cash in on my life insurance," Jensen jokes and picks up a piece of bread, dipping it into the soup.

Jared is quiet for a beat too long, and Jensen looks up at him. He'd been teasing, but he can't deny that the idea itself isn't off-putting, even if it's entirely too soon and he feels like a fool for bringing it up, joke or not.

He gives Jared a nervous, wry smile. "Sorry. Way too early for that kinda joke, huh?"

Jared ducks his head and bites down on his lower lip in that way that drives Jensen absolutely insane.

"I don't know," he says and then shrugs. "Just took me by surprise. I didn't know we were talking marriage already."

The last part is said lightly, teasingly, and Jensen feels himself relax.

"I guess we are. I mean, someday, right?" he asks softly, seriously.

Jared returns his smile. "Yeah. Yeah, that'd be nice."

*

It's the first time Jensen stays over at Jared's for a night, not counting the few times he crashed on his couch in the past, before they get together. But he feels himself fading quickly by the time they finish dinner and he doesn't feel like making the drive out to his place tonight.

Despite how tall Jared is, his bed is smaller than Jensen's and his sheets aren't as soft, and there's light from a streetlamp outside shining in through the sheer curtains and a few times a car drives by outside, and it takes Jensen a while to fall asleep even if he's utterly exhausted, not used to any sounds other than the waves against the shore outside his window.

*

"Mom?" Jensen calls out and when he gets no reply, he peeks into the kitchen and then the living room. The doors to the backyard are wide open and he finds his mother outside, pulling weeds from her rose bed.

"Hey, mom," Jensen greets and holds up a chainsaw. "Dad wanted to borrow this."

"Jensen, honey. Hi," his mother says, looking startled but smiling. She holds up her hands, smudged with dirt. "I'd give you a hug, but."

"It's fine," Jensen says with a laugh. He puts the chainsaw down onto the patio table. 

"Thank you for dropping that off. We had some big branches come down during the storm the other day," his mother says and carefully sidesteps a rose. "Let me go clean up. Do you want something to drink? I can make some coffee."

"I'm good. I just had one in town at Jay's," Jensen says, waving her off. His mother's smile falters, then comes back.

"Jensen," she says and gives a small laugh. "You won't believe what Sherri asked me yesterday when I ran into her. She seems to think there might be something going on between you and her son."

Jensen freezes, a lump forming in his throat. "What?" 

His mother laughs again. "I know, I know. She says you've been spending a lot of time together and something about Jared spending nights elsewhere," she says. "Obviously I told her that she's got it all wrong. But you know how quickly rumors spread in this town, so…"

Jensen knows he could lie. But he knows eventually he'll have to tell his parents; he doesn't want to keep his relationship secret forever anyway. He just figured when he told them, he'd know what to say, have a whole speech prepared. But he isn't sure there's ever a right time for this sort of thing and he doesn't want to lie to his mother. So he takes a breath and smiles weakly. 

"No. Sherri's actually right," he admits. "Jared and I have been seeing each other for a little while."

His mother's expression falls. "What?" she asks. "Jensen, is this one of your jokes?" 

"No, no joke, mama," he says softly. 

"But. Jensen, you like girls," his mother says, and Jensen feels something in his stomach twist. He didn't expect his parents to jump with joy, but his mother looks more rattled than he would have expected, tension seeping into her posture.

"I do. But I like guys too. Or Jared, at least."

His mother swallows, her eyes flitting over Jensen like she's not sure where to look. "Nonsense," she says, her voice firm like she has a say in this, and Jensen's heart sinks more and more. "You've always dated women, Jensen. And now you're telling me you've suddenly changed your mind?" 

"I'm in love with him. I'm not sure what else to tell you," he tries.

"You're… you're confused, honey," his mother tries. "Did Jared talk you into this? You were always a pushover when it came to that boy."

"That boy?" Jensen echoes and feels anger mix with the hurt he's feeling. "Are you really going to talk about him like that? Like he's, what, tricked me into being with him? I'm a grown man, mom, I don't let anyone make choices for me."

"And that's your choice? Being with a man?"

"Yes," Jensen says, his voice loud. "Yes, that's my choice. And it's made me happy; he makes me happy. But clearly you're not ready to accept that, so I guess I should leave."

"Yeah. Maybe that's for the best," his mother agrees. "This is nonsense, Jensen."

Jensen nods steelily and then turns without another word, storming out of his parents' house and slamming the front door shut so loudly the entire street probably heard it. Jensen doesn't care, seething and wanting to punch something and cry at the same time. He didn't expect his mother to embrace this without question, but he didn't think she would react this badly, would take issue with Jared who she's always liked and treated like family before.

*

"Hey."

Jensen whirls around. Jared is standing in the doorway of his workshop, looking a little hesitant. 

"I got your message to come over. Is everything okay?" Jared asks and takes a step into the room. 

For a second, Jensen feels like snapping at him, tension and anger still coiled inside of him, leaving him all twisted up, but then it's like something breaks and he slumps. He turns off the loud music he's been listening to while working and lets the paintbrush drop down into the bucket carelessly.

Running a hand over his face, he sighs. "Not really," he admits.

"Jensen?"

"Come here," Jensen says, suddenly desperate to feel Jared's arms around him, to have him in his space and make him feel better. Jared comes to him without question, steps into Jensen's open arms and wraps him up in an embrace.

"What's going on? What's wrong, baby?" Jared murmurs, voice soft and concerned, and the pet name makes Jensen smile, his eyes starting to burn.

"My mom knows."

He hears Jared's loud exhale, his arms tightening around Jensen. "It didn't go well?"

Jensen shakes his head wordlessly.

"Shit. Jensen, I'm sorry," Jared says. "I had no idea you wanted to tell her. What happened?"

Jensen swallows and lets his arms drop, stepping back. Jared peers down at him; he's always had an expressive face, every emotion written all over it for everyone to see, and now there's so much concern there, so much love that Jensen wants to bury himself in his arms again, stay there forever.

"I didn't plan on it," Jensen admits quietly. "But your mother, uh, I guess she asked my mom if there was something going on between us. My mom thought it was ridiculous, but she brought it up and I couldn't lie to her." 

Jared's expression crumbles. "Jensen," he starts. "Jen, I'm so sorry. She shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay." 

"No, it's not," Jared says and shakes his head. "It's never okay to out someone. It should have been your choice to make. I'm so sorry."

"What's done is done, right?" Jensen says with a small shrug.

Jared bites down on the corner of his bottom lip, shrugs. "Are you mad at me?" he asks almost meekly.

Jensen looks at him, frowning, and catches Jared by the hips. "Why in the world would I be mad at you, baby?"

"She's my mother," Jared says and hangs his head, hair falling in his face. "And I… it's because you're with me."

"If you say anything along the lines of you making me be with you, I'm gonna whoop your ass, Padalecki," Jensen threatens. "I really don't need another person saying crap like that to me today."

"Your mom said that?" Jared guesses, bringing his hands up to Jensen's arm, thumbs drawing small circles over the edge of Jensen's shirt sleeves.

"I guess it's the only way she could make sense of why I would suddenly be with a man," Jensen replies bitterly.

Jared sighs. "Jen. Not that I want to excuse her behavior in any way. It sucks that she's not okay with this. But… look, this came out of the blue. She probably didn't see this coming and a lot of people need some time to understand, to come to accept this kind of thing."

Jensen slumps. "But she's my mom."

"I know," Jared says softly and tugs Jensen closer, kissing his forehead.

Jensen leans into the touch and sighs. "I think I wanna get away for a couple of days," he says quietly. "Go out onto the water and just leave this behind for a bit."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. Whatever you need," Jared murmurs. "I'll be here when you get back, Jen."

Jensen tips his head back. "I meant _with you_, you idiot," he says fondly. "Think you can swing that with the café? I know it's short notice, but I just wanna take you away for a bit and ignore the rest of the world. Just for a day or two."

"Oh," Jared says, lips twitching up into a small smile. "Yeah. Yeah, I can definitely swing that. I need to call Gen and Katie. When do you wanna leave?"

"Now?" Jensen suggests. "We just need some food and a change of clothes. You've got enough stashed here. Is that okay?"

"Of course."

"Thank you, Jared," Jensen says and leans in, brushing their mouths together chastely. "I just need to clean up here real quick."

"Okay, cool. If you have some work to finish up, I can wait. Go pack or something," Jared offers.

Jensen looks back at the sail boat he was working on. Jared's boat. "Nah. I'm kinda done with this. Have been for a couple of weeks. I've just been tinkering around with it," he says. "One of those projects, you know, where I wanted every last detail to be perfect, so I'm having a hard time letting go."

"It looks great," Jared praises quietly and Jensen turns to smile at him.

"Yeah? You like it?" he asks. "Because it's kinda yours."

If Jensen wasn't feeling so messed up, he thinks he'd laugh watching Jared's expression shift to confusion and then disbelief.

"Kinda mine?" he parrots. "What do you mean, it's kinda mine?"

Jensen shrugs and rubs the back of his neck. One of the reasons he put off showing the boat to Jared, the main reason really, is that he knows it's a bit weird to just give someone a boat. It's random and too much, and even though it didn't cost much, other than Jensen's time and a few materials, it's a big gesture.

"I just… thought you might like it," he downplays. "I mean, you can't really be with a guy who builds boats and not have your own anyway, right? That'd be like me not eating a single one of your cupcakes." 

"Yeah, right. That'd be downright ridiculous," Jared says sarcastically. "Jensen. You really wanna give me a sailboat?"

"If you want it," Jensen offers.

"You're fucking nuts, you know that?" Jared asks fondly.

"But in an oddly charming way, not in a 'I don't think I can be with you' way, right?"

"In a 'this is too much and you're ruining me for all other men and I love you so much it hurts' way," Jared says and Jensen gives him a small grin. 

"That's good, too," he says.

*

They leave an hour later, taking Jensen's restored fishing boat. The rumbling sound of the engine, the waves crashing against the sides, and the smell of the seawater help him calm down some almost instantly, and having Jared wrapped around him from behind settles the last of his frayed nerves, soothes the anger in his belly.

There's a small island a few miles away from the shore, barely more than some rocks and a bit of sand, and Jensen drops anchor nearby. They left late, so they can't go far, but it's enough just to be out on the water. Tomorrow, maybe, Jensen will take them somewhere further down the coast. 

The small cabin of the boat holds the tiniest bathroom, a bed and a small kitchenette. It's barely big enough to cook a proper meal, but Jensen knows how to make do with it. He heats up some canned ravioli, which they eat outside, sitting on the ground with some blankets and a bottle of whiskey.

"This is really, really terrible," Jared says as he pops a ravioli in his mouth.

Jensen grins, takes a swig of whiskey and holds the bottle out to Jared. "Yeah, but this is really, really great," he says, and Jared laughs and nods.

They get sloppy drunk and they're both a little unsteady on their feet and giggling like teenagers. They strip out of their clothes and when Jared makes a move to crawl onto the bed tucked into the bow of the boat still wearing his boxer-briefs, Jensen hooks a finger under the elastic and lets it snap against Jared's skin.

"Nu-uh. That goes off, too, beautiful," he says, and Jared grins at him and pushes the underwear off as well.

He crawls onto the bed then, lies down on his back and grins invitingly. 

"What're you gonna do with me, gorgeous?" Jared asks and splays his legs apart. 

Jensen's cock is filling quickly, just from looking at Jared, from thinking about all the things he wants to do to Jared. It's a cramped space and there's barely enough room to sit up, and the options are limited.

"Come here," he says, and he curls his hands around the back of Jared's knees, pulls him to the edge of the bed and sinks down between his legs, manhandling him into the position he wants.

Jensen pushes Jared's legs up and out, exposing him. He's never done this, but he's heard about it, has been curious about it. It's been one of those things he's been a little hesitant about, but right now he wants this. Wants to bury his face between Jared's legs, wants to taste him.

"Fuck, Jen," Jared groans, sounding wrecked before Jensen has even done anything.

"Hold your legs up," Jensen says, his voice all hoarse, and fuck, he's _aching_ with how much he wants Jared, needs Jared.

Jared complies and Jensen lets go of his legs, palms his asscheeks and spreads them further apart . It's the prettiest sight, and he groans before he dives in. His first lick over Jared's hole is tentative, but the noise Jared makes is like nothing he's ever heard, so fucking wanton it drives Jensen crazy. He licks over Jared's entrance, gets it slick with spit, and then tongues the rim, and when he finally pushes his tongue in he draws the sweetest noises from Jared. He grips the backs of Jared's thighs, just above his ass, and keeps eating him out eagerly. He thinks it might be his new favorite thing, because Jared is falling apart, and Jensen doesn't stop until he brings Jared to completion with just his tongue.

He works Jared through it, keeps driving his tongue into him and lapping at the rim, until the noises Jared makes start becoming strained, a mixture between pleasure and overstimulation.

"Jen. Jen," Jared chants, begs.

Jensen pulls away, panting and aching. "Scoot up and turn around," he says. "I wanna fuck you. Can I?"

Jared makes a strangled noise and moves, sluggishly, flopping onto his stomach and scooting to the middle of the mattress. Jensen gets up, his knees aching, and kneels between Jared's spread legs. 

He leans over Jared, kisses the back of his sweaty neck. "Jay. Sweetheart. Can I fuck you?" he asks again, and Jared makes a whimpering noise.

"Please," he says, canting his hips up, ass brushing against Jensen's cock. Jensen kisses the same spot again, then the curve of his neck, before he pulls back to get the lube and a condom that he packed and stashed by the bed. 

He cups Jared's thighs, pushes them wider apart, and then slicks up his fingers. Jared is slick with spit, a little red and puffy from Jensen's mouth and tongue and stubble. Jensen rubs wet fingers over his hole and then sinks two into him, making Jared let out a long, low moan, pushing his hips back. 

Jensen twists his fingers, works them in and out, adds more lube before he nudges a third finger in. He opens Jared up until he's slick and loose, taking Jensen's fingers easily, eagerly, panting and groaning. 

Jensen pulls his fingers free and grabs a pillow. "Up," he says, and when Jared lifts his hips, he squishes the pillow under him before grabbing the condom and lube to prepare himself. 

He leans over Jared, kisses his neck as he nudges his cock up against his hole, and then he presses in with a slow roll of his hips.

"Jensen," Jared cries out, arching back and making Jensen sink in deeper. Jensen groans, uses his knee and one hand around Jared's thigh to push Jared's left leg further up and out and slides the rest of the way in. He halts with his hips flush against Jared's ass, his weight pinning Jared down, and gives Jared a few moments. 

Gripping Jared's hips, he buries his face in Jared's neck, kisses and bites and licks, and starts rutting down into Jared, listening to Jared's heavy breathing and sweet cries as he keeps him full, grinding into him restlessly, until they both come.

*

"I hate you," Jared mumbles the next morning. 

Jensen kisses his brow, strokes his side and then slips out of bed to get him some painkillers and water. Jared might have a few inches on him, but he doesn't hold his liquor all that well, doesn't drink all that much too often.

"Do you wanna go back home?" he asks quietly as he hands Jared the water, watches him swallow down the pills.

Jared groans. "No. Just need this and a bit more sleep," he says and flops back down. "And cuddles."

Jensen laughs quietly and puts the empty glass down onto the ground before lying down with Jared. "I can do cuddles. Come here."

*

Jared feels better by noon. They take a dip in the sea and then Jared splays out on the deck while Jensen hauls in the anchor and sails them further along the coast.

It's a quiet, peaceful day, the kind Jensen hopes to have with Jared a lot more, and by the end of it, eating fried fish they caught themselves, he feels good. At ease. His conversation with his mother isn't forgotten, but it hurts a little less knowing Jared is at his side. The moment he first kissed Jared, he made his choice, chose this relationship. He doesn't want to lose his parents, but he wants Jared even more.

They lie in bed together that night, Jared's hand stroking lazy patterns onto Jensen's chest.

"You okay?"

"Gonna stay with me?" Jensen asks, tapping his thumb against Jared's wrist.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course."

"Then yeah, I'm okay," Jensen says. 

*

Something inside of Jensen cracks open when they set foot onto land again the next morning, back at his place. He's ready to face reality, he thinks, but the thought of Jared going back to his place makes something unpleasant coil in his stomach. 

He hates being apart from him.

Things aren't quite right when Jared isn't there, when they're not sharing dinner and breakfast, when Jensen crawls into an empty bed. It's too soon, but then again, this has been years and years in the making.

On the dock, Jensen catches Jared's wrist in his hand. "Jay," he prompts.

Jared turns, smiles and then frowns. "You okay?" 

"Move in with me," Jensen says, the words spilling from his mouth before he can really think about it. "I know it's only been a few months, but I wanna live with you. And if you don't like this place, we can find somewhere else. In town, if you want to."

"Jensen," Jared says and grins, laughs. "Are you serious?"

"Yes. Absolutely," Jensen swears. "Whatever you want." 

Jared steps closer, brings his hands up and frames Jensen's face, kisses him. "Yes. Of course I'll move in with you," he mumbles between kisses.

*

Jensen walks the short path from his workshop to his house and his step falters when he sees a figure sitting on his porch. It's his dad, a steaming mug of what Jensen guesses is coffee that he must have made cupped between his hands.

"Dad," he says as he gets closer. "Hi."

"Hi kiddo," his dad says, giving him a soft smile.

Jensen nods at the mug. "Any left?"

"Yeah, I made a whole pot. Figured you might want some," his dad says.

Jensen nods. "I'll go get a mug," he says, and brushes past his dad as he heads inside. His heart is thudding in his chest, worry and hope warring inside of him. He tries to calm himself as he pours himself some coffee, takes his time before he joins his dad on the porch, sitting down with a soft groan.

"So," he starts, looking ahead at the sea, calm today. "I guess mom talked to you?"

"She did," his dad says. "Jensen. Kid, I'm sorry. She needs a little time, but she'll come around. But she will. She loves you."

Jensen nods stiltedly. "And you?" he asks hopefully and looks at his dad, sees him press his lips together.

"I will always love you no matter what, Jensen. Not gonna lie, I wouldn't have always been fine with the idea of my son dating another man. I was raised with certain values, certain beliefs," he confesses. "But that was before I had kids. Now, I just want you and your siblings to be healthy and happy. That's all I can ask for."

"Jared makes me happy," Jensen admits quietly.

His dad smiles. "I'm not even sure why I'm surprised," he says and laughs a little, shaking his head. "I mean, we certainly didn't see that coming, but then again that kid always had you wrapped around his finger."

Jensen ducks his head, cracks a smile. "Yeah, guess he did."

"I'm not saying it's not a little weird. It's not who I pictured you ending up with," his dad confesses. "But I know you. I know you've always cared a great deal about him as a friend and you wouldn't risk that friendship unless this was something serious."

"It is," Jensen agrees. "I love him."

"Well then, that's that, huh?" his dad says and pats Jensen's arm. "Your mother will come around soon, too. She regrets how the conversation with you went, she just needs some time to wrap her head around this. She thought you were one thing and now you're not and you know how she is with changes."

Jensen nods mutely, looking down at the coffee that's slowly growing cold in his mug. He takes a sip, grimacing a little at the taste.

"How's business? Any big projects right now?" his father asks, and Jensen is glad for the change of topic.

"It's going well. Got enough commissions lined up to keep me busy for a while."

"Hmm. Think you can spare a little time for my trawler? It could use a little freshening up."

"Of course, dad," Jensen says. "You know I'm always happy to help."

"How are things with that kid you hired? That Sampson boy," Jensen asks, and his father shakes his head with a groan.

"Didn't work out. He decided it's not his kinda thing," he admits. "But Brock Kelly, you know him, right? He just started with me. Summer job was done and he needed some money. It's only been a little over a week, but he's a hard worker and he doesn't seem to mind the hours."

"That's good," Jensen says.

His father nods and then claps a hand onto his knee. "I should get going," he says and gets up, turning to face Jensen. "Now listen, your mom told Josh and Mack as well, which your sister had some words with her about already. But before you worry about them, they both still love you and are happy for you and I'm sure they would have called you and told you so themselves right away. I just wanted to come here and talk to you first, start straightening things out between you and your mother, before this turns into a big hoopla."

"Thanks, dad," Jensen says. "I'll call them both."

"You do that," his dad says and gives him a small smile. "She'll call soon, Jensen. Don't worry, okay?"

Jensen nods. He waits until his dad has left before he pulls out his cell phone. He wants to call Jared, wants to hear his voice, but he knows Jared is still at work, so he decides to talk to his siblings first.

And then he thinks it's time he paid Danneel and Chris a visit, too.

*

Jensen pushes the heavy oak door open and steps into Kane's. It's not open yet, but he knows Chris is in around this time already and never bothers to lock the door while he stocks the bar and does some clean-up.

"We're not open for another hour," Chris yells from the back as the door falls shut with a thud.

"Figured you'd make an exception for your best friend," Jensen calls back and takes a seat at the bar. 

Chris comes out, wiping his hands on a rag and grinning. "Hey man. What are you doing here?" he asks.

Jensen shrugs. "Was hoping for a whiskey," he says.

Chris gives him a dubious look, but he turns and gets two tumblers, pouring an inch of amber liquid into each one. He hands one to Jensen and toasts him, both of them taking a small sip.

"Come on, talk," Chris prompts. "I know something is up. You're doing that thing, where your jaw twitches." 

Jensen rubs his jaw and frowns. "It doesn't."

"Yeah, it does," Chris says. "

Jensen sighs. "Well, there is something I've been wanting to tell you," he admits. He puts his glass down, tries for a casual smile. "I've been seeing someone."

"Well, that explains why I've barely seen your face these past few months," Chris notes. He knocks the rest of his drink back and places the glass down behind the bar. "I'd say that's great, but judging by the way you're acting there's something else. You seeing someone I'm not gonna be happy with or what?"

"Well, I hope not," Jensen replies with a small shrug. "It's a guy."

Chris's eyebrows shoot up and then he leans forward, hands on the bar. "Jensen Ackles. I hope your next sentence is that it's Jared. Because I swear to god if you're telling me you figured out you're into guys after all these years and you're dating some other dude, after Jared has been pining for you for years and I'm gonna have to deal with the kid's heartbreak, I'm going to throttle you."

Jensen snorts. "Calm your horses," he says. "It's Jared."

"Fuck, man. Really?" Chris exclaims, and Jensen grins. "You and Padalecki? Who would have thought, huh? That's great." 

"Yeah?"

"Well, is it not?" Chris shoots back.

"Nah, it's pretty great," Jensen says, nodding. "He's great."

"Good god, you're totally gone for him," Chris snorts and then claps him on the arm. "Good for you, Jen."

"Yeah, it is," Jensen agrees and smiles, finally picking up his glass again.

*

Jensen wakes up in Jared's bed alone the next morning. Sunlight is coming in and noises are filtering in from the street below. He stretches with a small groan and then peers at the alarm clock on Jared's nightstand.

It's past nine already, and Jensen groans again. He's meeting with a client in Eugene at noon and has a list of other errands he wants to run while he's in the city, and he really needs to get up.

One whiskey had quickly turned into three when Danneel had arrived at Kane's and Jensen had told her about Jared as well. Then he'd had another drink at Jared's—on an empty stomach before Jared had made him some sandwiches—before he'd dragged Jared into the bedroom instead of getting started on packing up some of Jared's stuff like they'd planned.

Pushing the sheets down, Jensen slides out of bed to go take a shower.

He heads down to the café twenty minutes later and walks up to the counter.

"Good morning, Jensen," Katie says brightly and Jensen notices Kathryn is already serving someone else. "Coffee?"

"Please," Jensen says. "Biggest mug you have."

Katie laughs. "Late night?" she guesses and Jensen nods.

"Kinda. Is Jared around?"

Katie nods her head at the door leading to the kitchen. "Baking. But I'm sure he's got a minute or two; I'll check in a second," she says. She makes him his coffee, hands the steaming mug to him and then heads to the back, coming back moments later. "He needs to get cupcakes out of the oven in a minute; just join him back there."

"Alright," Jensen says and puts some bills on the counter before he walks around it and into the kitchen, mug in hand.

Jared is just pulling baking trays out of the oven and he tosses him a grin when he comes in. "Hey. Don't touch these, they're hot," he says, putting the last one down and taking the oven mitt off. He leans in and pecks Jensen on the lips quickly. "Good morning, gorgeous."

"Morning, Jay," Jensen replies. "Sorry about getting a little drunk last night."

Jared gives a small laugh. "It's fine, babe. You're fun when you're tipsy," he says. "And you had an eventful day yesterday. You needed to unwind a little, I get that."

Jensen rubs his face and nods. 

"Hey," Jared prompts and stands in front of him, resting his hands on Jensen's shoulders. "I'm proud of you. Coming out isn't easy, even if you knew Danni and Chris wouldn't mind."

The words make Jensen's heart swell with pride. He puts his mug down, careful not to touch any of the hot trays, and then wraps his arms around Jared's middle. "It's about time I did it," he says and tilts his face up, catching Jared's mouth in a kiss. It's quick and chaste, but Jensen can't resist leaning in for a second and third, each one a little longer than the last.

A noise makes him pull back and he turns to find Kathryn standing in the doorway, her eyes comically wide and mouth agape. 

"I need the raspberry chocolate cupcakes," she says, her voice strained.

"They're right there to your left," Jared says.

Karthryn nods curtly, grabs the tray and turns, hurrying out of the kitchen, the door thudding shut behind her.

"Well," Jared says and Jensen looks up at him, sees him wince. "I guess it's a good thing you told everyone you wanted to tell personally, because the whole town is gonna know by the end of the day now."

"Yeah," Jensen says and lets out a noise somewhere between a groan and a laugh. "At least maybe she'll stop trying to get me to ask her out now."

"She better," Jared says with a fake growl, and Jensen grins, tightening his arms around Jared and drawing him close against him.

"And I get to kiss you whenever I want now," he says, and kisses Jared to prove his point. He coaxes Jared's lips apart with small kisses, licks into his mouth all slow and languid, and grins when he hears Jared's breath hitch.

"Well, holy shit." 

Jensen pulls away with a groan and lets go of Jared, turning around completely this time. Katie and Gen are both standing in the doorway, grinning.

"I guess Kathryn wasn't hallucinating then, because you two are really making out," Katie says, arching an eyebrow.

"Don't you two have work to do?" Jared asks.

"Don't you have some baking to do? Those cupcakes won't frost themselves," Gen replies.

"Yeah, you're really not setting a great example for strong work ethics right now, boss," Katie adds, and Jared huffs.

Jensen laughs and turns to Jared, kissing him on the cheek. "I need to get going anyway," he says. "See you tonight?"

Katie whistles and Gen snickers.

"You're both fired," Jared says and nudges Jensen. "Take a cupcake or two. I made your favorite."

"Oh, so sweet, he made your favorite, Jen," Gen coos and Jensen rolls his eyes at her, biting back a grin. He's going to thank Jared properly later today, when there's no audience.

*

It's approaching six by the time Jensen makes it back into town and Jared's place. He grabs the pile of moving boxes he bought in the city and rings the bell, hauling them up the stairs when Jared buzzes him in.

Jared is waiting in the open door, smile wobbly and eyes a little red.

"What's wrong?" Jensen asks, alarmed.

"Nothing. Come on in," Jared says, stepping aside.

Jensen brushes past him, leans the folded boxes against the wall and then turns to Jared, bringing a hand up to cup his face. "Sweetheart, talk to me. Are you okay? Your family?"

"Everyone's fine," Jared says, shaking his head a little. "Just been a day."

He takes Jensen's hands, tangling their fingers and leads him over to the couch, flopping down on it and pulling Jensen down next to him. "I was going to have dinner ready for us, but..." he starts, waving his hand around. "I needed a minute. Sorry."

"Jared. You don't have to have dinner waiting for me whenever I turn up," Jensen admonishes gently, shifting around to sit facing Jared.

Jared smiles a little, shrugs. "Yeah. But the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and all that."

"Heart's already yours," Jensen replies. "So. Been a day, huh? What happened?"

"Just… everyone finding out we're seeing each other. And like you predicted, everyone has an opinion about this and had to let me know, and it wasn't all good," Jared says, and Jensen feels horrible for leaving Jared alone with this when he should have known better. 

"Who?" he asks, gritting his teeth.

"Doesn't matter. Nobody important," Jared sighs. "It's one thing for people to know I'm gay in theory, you know? Like it didn't really count if I wasn't doing anything with guys for them to see or know about. But two guys actually being together, that's different. Now I'm corrupting the good men in this town."

"Did someone actually say that?" Jensen asks and almost growls.

Jared lifts one shoulder in a shrug. "More or less," he admits and looks at Jensen, his expression softening. He leans in, kisses his cheek. "It's okay, Jen. They'll get over it eventually."

"People are fucking assholes," Jensen says, and Jared nods.

"Some, yeah. And to get all the bad news out of the way—I told my parents and my mother is very excited," he says. "She wants us to come over to dinner next week."

"How's that bad news?" Jensen asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, sweet, sweet Jensen," Jared says with a shake of his head. "I've never brought anyone home or even talked about any guy I was seeing much. She's probably already planning the wedding. Hell, she might have a minister waiting for us when we get there and force you to sign some legally binding contract that will prohibit you from ever leaving me."

Jensen snorts. "I don't plan on leaving you anyway," he says. He lifts one leg over Jared's lap, nudges the other between Jared and the back of the couch and Jared scoots closer with a smile, resting sideways against his chest. Jensen peers down at him, heart aching a little thinking about Jared sitting here without him, crying, and kisses the bridge of his nose. "Feeling a little better?"

"Yeah," Jared says. "But I'm ready to move and be a hermit with you."

"I'm not a hermit," Jensen says, rolling his eyes.

"You are, but it's okay," Jared says. "We'll be hermits together. Hmm, like two little hermit crabs living together in one shell."

"I'm pretty sure that's not a thing," Jensen points out.

"We don't know shit about the ocean," Jared replies, resting his cheek against Jensen's shoulder. "There could be happy, gay hermit crab couples living at the bottom of the ocean everywhere for all we know."

Jensen chuckles and turns his head, kissing Jared's forehead. "I can't believe I asked you to move in with me. What the hell was I thinking?"

"Doesn't matter, it's too late," Jared says cheekily and then straightens up. "We should probably start packing, though."

"Alright. Where do you wanna start?" Jensen asks, looking around the apartment. It's not a huge space, but there's plenty of stuff.

"Doesn't matter. Bedroom?" Jared suggests.

"Sure," Jensen says and then smirks. "I'm calling dibs on packing your underwear."

"The hell you are," Jared argues with a laugh. "You can pack my stinky running shoes."

"I think we need to talk about the things you're allowed to bring," Jensen teases and Jared rolls his bottom lip between his teeth, dimples popping as he bites back a smile.

"Nope. You can't say no to me and you know it anyway," he says, and Jensen can't even deny it.

*

It takes them a few days, whenever they're not busy working, to pack and get all the boxes to Jensen's place.

Jared leaves all his furniture in the apartment, as well as a lot of the basic appliances that Jensen already has. "I figured I could rent it out to tourists," he says. "And use the money to pay you rent."

"No way are you paying rent," Jensen shoots down, and Jared frowns.

"Jensen. I can't just live in your house for free."

"It's _our_ house now," Jensen says, and feels a surge of pride when the words make Jared look at him like he wants to cry. "We can split the bills and everything."

The first night after they've lugged in the last of Jared's boxes feels different. Special. Jared has spent plenty of nights, but it's their house, their bed now.

Jared curls up against his side, his head resting on Jensen's chest, that night, both of them panting, sweaty and sticky from fucking first in the shower and then in the bed. 

Jensen can't help it, he laughs softly, happiness making him feel like he could burst.

"What?" Jared asks.

"Just thinking. I've got it all now," Jensen says. "My business, this house, you."

Jared makes a series of weird noises.

"What the hell was that?" Jensen asks in confusion.

"Well, I don't know what kinda sounds hermit crabs make," Jared replies with a laugh. "So I had to make it up."

Jensen huffs and pinches Jared's side.

"Ow. Jensen!"

"What? That's what crabs do, right? They pinch," Jensen teases.

Jared slaps his stomach gently. "But not their little hermit crab partners," he says, sounding affronted.

"No? What do they do to their partners then?" Jensen asks, shifting under Jared so his weight rests more comfortably on top of him.

"Hmm. They kiss them and tell them they're very pretty and then screw them a lot," Jared says and Jensen can hear the grin in his voice.

"Already done all of that tonight. Especially the latter."

"They probably do it three times. So get to it," Jared replies, turning his head and kissing Jensen's throat, hand slipping down his stomach.

*

"Sweet dreams," Jensen murmurs later, both of them on the edge of nodding off. "Remember, whatever you dream the first night in a new place comes true."

"I've slept here countless times."

"Still. Dream about us, just to be on the safe side," Jensen says, smiling.

*

Unpacking takes a while, but eventually the last box is empty and stored away. Jensen has always loved his house and he never thought it looked empty, but it looks better now, with Jared's things mixing with his in every nook and cranny, traces of two people sharing the space instead of one.

It's been a long time coming, him and Jared, and now Jensen feels like he's finally exactly where he wants to be.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on twitter ([whispered_story](https://twitter.com/whispered_story)) and tumblr ([whispered-story](https://whispered-story.tumblr.com/)).


End file.
